Mother made bad financial decisions early on. Now, she's got dementia -what to do? I do not want to be responsible for her actions.
As her legal POA (now), what am I responsible for--- she made these awful decisions well before I came on the scene -- I do not want to be responsible for ANYTHING she nay have done in her earlier yrs---how do I get out of this mess???
You can send your mom a letter of resignation. It is fairly simple and you just want to send it certified mail to show proof of delivery. No one can make you be their POA, it is an agreed upon position and if you didn't agree, resign.
You are not legally obligated to be her power of attorney.
If you do not want to do the things that you are required to as her POA then you should resign, because you have a fudiciary responsibility to her as long as you hold the POA and not doing the requirements could get you in trouble.
You are not responsible for Moms debts or how she spent her money before you took over.
What you are responsible for is paying her bills with her money. If she has no money then the bill can't be paid. You ARE NOT responsible. I wrote everything by check. If I reimbursed myself for something I bought for Mom I wrote myself a check and kept the receipts. This way Moms statement showed everything I paid.
If Mom is in debt and she can't pay, you may need to just let the debts go. You could try to get a consolidation loan to lump everything together. The debtors are paid and Mom pays the bank one monthly payment.
If this is overwhelming, call Office of the Aging and see if they have someone who can help you straighten it all out.
Taxes, if Moms income is mostly SS and under, I think, 30k, she may not need to pay taxes. A tax good preparer can help u with this.
It would be helpful if you outlined what exactly are the bad decisions your are referring to. The other comments are correct when they say you are not personally responsible for decisions she made, only ones you make. My MIL's house went into foreclosure while my husband was her FPoA. We walked away and left the key. The bank never contacted us. You can resign as PoA but someone will need to make decisions for your mother. Guardianship by the govt means you will have no say in what happens to her or where she goes and you'll have no insight into any of her personal/private info (like finances) but they will take care of her needs. You will only be contacted when she is on her deathbed or maybe not even then. They will contact you to see if you want to take her ashes.
If your mother's bad decisions resulted in her financial devastation and she is broke, apply for Medicaid so she can go into a care facility. Once on Medicaid there will be nothing for any bill collectors to collect. My stepFIL died owing tens of thousands in cc debt. When he became a ward of the state, no one called him any more and no one else, not even his wife, was held responsible because her name wasn't on anything he signed.
I hope all these answers have helped you see it isn't as bad as you think, unless there's some other details you haven't divulged. Peace!
Doesn't seem that there is that much to worry about. Your responsibility is to pay for her bills with her money. Done. If there is not enough money, then your responsibility is to do what she would do if she could....go to debt consolidators, or file bankruptcy etc, or pay minimum payments until paid off. You are not financially responsible for her (with your money), that's not what POA has to do. The only exception would be for medical bills in some very rare circumstances. If it's too much or too stressful, consider hiring a money manager.
As her POA you are not responsible for decisons made by her, only responsible for any decisions YOU make. I am not sure what you mean. You don't seem to have any understanding of being her legal POA. Are you managing her finances? Then you are responsible to pay her bills as she would pay them were she able. If you feel that you cannot take on this task then do go to Lawyer and sign a legal paper saying you do not wish to serve as your mother's poa. It is a BIG job and careful records have to be kept. You may have to file taxes for her, which is a whole other set of forms. If you are not up to this don't do it. When you resign, if no other family member will do this work and your mother is unable, the court will assign a fiduciary to manage her finances. HOWEVER be clear on this. It is then up to fiduciary, possibly court appointed guardian, to decide where best your Mom should be placed, what she can financially afford, and etc. Seek the advice of an Elder Law attorney now. This will cost you but you will only need one hour to know which way you want to jump. Wishing you good luck. I am serving as POA for my brother. Started February. Taken me this long to get things ironed out and I still have more; he was meticulous and very carefully organized with an easy estate, but it is not easy. I am learning, but not easy.
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You are not legally obligated to be her power of attorney.
If you do not want to do the things that you are required to as her POA then you should resign, because you have a fudiciary responsibility to her as long as you hold the POA and not doing the requirements could get you in trouble.
What you are responsible for is paying her bills with her money. If she has no money then the bill can't be paid. You ARE NOT responsible. I wrote everything by check. If I reimbursed myself for something I bought for Mom I wrote myself a check and kept the receipts. This way Moms statement showed everything I paid.
If Mom is in debt and she can't pay, you may need to just let the debts go. You could try to get a consolidation loan to lump everything together. The debtors are paid and Mom pays the bank one monthly payment.
If this is overwhelming, call Office of the Aging and see if they have someone who can help you straighten it all out.
Taxes, if Moms income is mostly SS and under, I think, 30k, she may not need to pay taxes. A tax good preparer can help u with this.
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If your mother's bad decisions resulted in her financial devastation and she is broke, apply for Medicaid so she can go into a care facility. Once on Medicaid there will be nothing for any bill collectors to collect. My stepFIL died owing tens of thousands in cc debt. When he became a ward of the state, no one called him any more and no one else, not even his wife, was held responsible because her name wasn't on anything he signed.
I hope all these answers have helped you see it isn't as bad as you think, unless there's some other details you haven't divulged. Peace!
HOWEVER be clear on this. It is then up to fiduciary, possibly court appointed guardian, to decide where best your Mom should be placed, what she can financially afford, and etc.
Seek the advice of an Elder Law attorney now. This will cost you but you will only need one hour to know which way you want to jump. Wishing you good luck. I am serving as POA for my brother. Started February. Taken me this long to get things ironed out and I still have more; he was meticulous and very carefully organized with an easy estate, but it is not easy. I am learning, but not easy.