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Robinshor Asked October 2019

My mom, 93 recently started conversing with a picture of her mom. She is forgetful but not confused except for this. Take picture away?

taradash Oct 2019
I say whatever soothes here its good. Some dementia patients have infant dolls for comfort and stuffed toys that look like dogs or cats for comfort. there is so much unknown that may help one that is lost within their trauma that her /his mind is going through.

sandy1955 Oct 2019
I would not take it from her. It sounds like it is comforting to her. Have you tried letting her take the picture when you go out? Maybe if she shows the picture to others she is with it will start some conversations and memories that will get her engaged and bring her comfort.

We lost our 33 year old daughter to breast cancer almost 8 years ago and there are times that I talk to her picture and I don’t have dementia, at least I don’t think I do 😂. Sometimes verbalizing our thoughts Brings comfort and peace.

Just my thoughts.

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earlybird Oct 2019
I would not take the picture away from your mother, as long as your mother is content and happy. My mom is 97 and if she found comfort looking at her mother's photo and even talking to her, that would be just fine with me. How sweet and heartfelt.

anonymous828521 Oct 2019
Please don't interfere if mom enjoys those conversations with the photo! Unless mom gets agitated or sad, it may comfort her 2 talk with her mom (photo). In the absence of social skills, she found a solution that works for her...why is it harmful? We know that children engage in fantasy play, so why not mom? Hope it works out 4 u both.

qmnpxl Oct 2019
When you go out either take the pic with or make plans as if Grandma was real and accounted for like lights on etc. My wife had a girl friend in the mirror. She was the sweetest thing. I was introduced to her. We took a mirror along or made arrangements with the girl so she’d be OK plus understand that we were leaving but would return. That way my wife wouldn’t worry about her being left behind. Occasionally I put a mirror on the table at meal time.

I concluded it was a healthy relationship and a good safe social outlet for her that would otherwise not happen. It will end or wind down someday and I believe you will, as did I, be saddened when that happens.

NeedHelpWithMom Oct 2019
I wouldn’t take it away. It’s most likely comforting to her. Some believe we see our loved ones before we die. I don’t doubt it.

Confounded Oct 2019
IF the picture doesn't disturb her ... she should keep it, and keep on chatting with it!

She may be in a Different Place now. If it doesn't hurt anyone, best to let her stay there.

gladimhere Oct 2019
Grandma obviously provides your mom comfort. Let her keep chatting and chatting some more. Why would you think of removing it?
Robinshor Oct 2019
thanks for your answer. She doesn’t want to leave the picture- and be with her family. It’s more than just chatting with the photo. I was going to take her to the cemetery today
i had planned a great day yesterday, manicure, shopping dinner with the family/ however she hadn’t left the lights on for grandma and had to get home. Normally she would have loved the day. Ps she is on the tail end of uti MED. Hopefully it’s that.
Geaton777 Oct 2019
I would have her checked for a UTI, if she hasn't recently been to the doc. Make sure she isn't dehydrated -- drinking plenty of healthy liquids, water, tea, broth, clear juices, etc. just to discount a medical cause. I vote for keeping the picture there for her to chat with.

Emma1817 Oct 2019
Goodness, gracious, let her chat! And listen in! This could be quite interesting! But if the picture ever happens to reply—I dunno, might want to put it in a drawer at that point.
anonymous828521 Oct 2019
Lol
anonymous912123 Oct 2019
I would let her keep it, possibly it gives her comfort and really I don't see how this is hurting her or anyone else.

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