My MIL went from home together with my father in law, to a nursing home for rehab after a hospital stay which we transitioned to long-term care for both. It took some time for my MIL to adjust. We had to give a lot of support.
When my FIL passed away a few months ago, we decided to bring MIL closer to us, just in case.
We thought that would be a positive move, but we were dead wrong. She's up day and night screaming, refusing meds and blood sugar checks ( she's type 1 diabetic) hitting people....trying to get up from her wheelchair etc...
They've put her on anti-psychotic meds but the problem persists.
I'm debating whether or not to take her home and to live with us, however I know that may be a disaster since she needs a skilled nursing facility for Alzheimer's
She's 93 years old and on Chronic Medicaid.
19 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
I would ask if a culture was done on her urine so the correct antibiotic can be given. While on an antibiotic, see if a probiotic is being given. Antibiotics cause yeast infections, probiotics help with this. Ask if a cranberry tablet can be introduced. This may help to cut down on reoccurring UTIs. Lots of water.
I would not take Mom to live with u. You will have no life and it will put stress on ur marriage. She needs to be where she is.
As for moving her in with you, why in the world would you consider doing this? If she cannot be managed in a facility with a trained staff, how exactly do you think you can handle her?
Sit back and think this through, not with your heart but with your head.
ADVERTISEMENT
What do you hope might happen if she came to live with you? How do you feel this could benefit your MIL?
I don't think you will have a satisfactory answer to either of those questions. I imagine you are feeling only that you must "do something!"
At the risk of saying the equivalent of "I wouldn't start from here" I suspect the mistake was to move her from the ltc that she had eventually adjusted to. I understand that it seemed like a good idea to have her closer to where you live, but - well, as you see. Too late to retrace the steps, I suppose? How long since she moved to the new facility?
Does anything calm or reassure her at the moment? Music, a blanket, tropical fish, your husband, anything?
DO NOT move your MIL in with you, that is a huge mistake! If they cannot handle her in LTC, what makes you think you can handle her at home, with no staff at all??
If she continues to be unmanageable after the UTI clears up, and medications aren't doing the trick, speak to the staff to see if they think she'd be better off in a facility with a memory care wing where they have specially trained staff to deal with these issues.
It is absolutely mind boggling to me how these dementia diseases are wreaking such havoc with so many poor souls and their families lately. Sending you a big hug and lots of prayers that the UTI is at the root of the trouble here, and that your MIL will get back to feeling a lot better SOON!
But, with all the violence and resistance you describe, she may need to be evaluated in a psychiatric setting to get her medication adjusted. Only trained professionals will be able to get her properly treated. I hope you can find some help.
And I would not move her in with you - if her behavior is disruptive and combative in the nursing home, it will not improve in your home. You will be upending your family's lives and it will only get worse as the Alzheimer's progresses.
See All Answers