Mother failing mentally..need advice.

To make a long story short, by the time my mom had a complete neuropsych evaluation (at the insistence of her new geriatrician and geriatric psychiatrist--and yes she was resistant but we told her we weren't trying to prove her "crazy" [her term] but to find out the source of her anxiety attacks), an MRI dont as part of the evaluation showed an "old stroke". Mom had had a CT scan with each fall and with each episode of extreme HBP (like 240/110) so clearly, there are times when CTs dont show the damage immediately.

Glad you are calling her doctor. Don't let her/him put you off. My moms regular PCP thought she was "just fine". Two docs with specific geriatric experience saw the subtle changes in cognition.

My mom has now had 2 neuropsychology evaluations since her stroke and I wish she had had one prior to the stroke so they could better evaluate but even so it’s been very valuable. I don’t think she ever would have agreed if it weren’t for the medical event (stroke) and you could have your moms doctor use the same reasoning post fall. Even though it was a year ago the baseline now could be very important for the future and knowing how to treat various things. She is probably more aware than you think of her cognitive issues and giving her the out, the fall may have caused some issues and her brain is still healing, this way it isn’t about getting older or dementia in her mind which is often easier to accept even if it is dementia. The other thing you could suggest is that the test might help them know if there is some therapy that might help her brain heal faster.... Just a simple benefit for the future to have a baseline now might be the simple way to present it. Make the assumption close, you have had one bad fall and having this test to refer back to in the event you have another down the line is the smart thing to do.

CWillie..thanks for affirming what my “gut” has been telling me. I am contacting her PCP today. Thanks so much.

Cwillie is right but testing can be easier said than done. Both my parents began having problems mentally years ago but if I so much as gently suggested any kind of testing....OMG. I decided it wasn’t worth the battles. If you mom is cooperative by all means have her tested. It can give you valuable info.

As for falls, my mom started falling at about the same age, many times banging her head, trips to ER, neurology testing etc. Somehow she escaped brain damage and concussions but the falls seemed to have a cumulative effort on her mental abilities.

Sometimes it takes real, indisputable evidence in order to truly believe our gut instincts - a friend of mine knew that her mother was slipping but she was floored when her mom couldn't satisfactorily complete a short test, not even draw a clock. I believe it is also helpful to know what kind of dementia you are facing because while there are similarities each has a different treatment and timeline.