Why can't I have a normal life? Everyday starts out the same: I am aggravated the minute she wakes up.

It is time to put her in a facility and find your life.

You matter in this situation and you are sounding very burned out. She needs professional care and it is okay for you to place her where she will receive the care she needs.

One thing that you have going for you is that since she is already always angry you know that she will be angry about the facility, but nothing new there.

Hugs!

I thought of my mother as one of my best friends and I could have never lived with her for 15 years, and once the crazy started I didn't last 5. I agree, it's way past time to find another place for her.

You have been doing this for 15 years? Omg NO WAY could I deal with my difficult narcissist mother for 15 years, and she lives next to me not with me. You are a saint for doing this for so long.

Please place her in a care home and get your own life back. I’m close to your age, I’ll be 57 in December. I often wonder how many decent years I have left?? Please don’t continue to be your Mother’s personal slave. In fact since she can’t take care of her basic needs like hygiene why isn’t she in a care facility now?

I’m so sorry you are going through this. I did too. Had my mom at home for nearly 15 years. Also, many more years before that in her home, along with my father. My dad was so much easier than my mom. My dad was appreciative. He compromised. He didn’t complain. He was humble. He was thoughtful.

You sound pretty much the way I did. Mom is now at my brother’s house. I did burn out. It didn’t end well. I have BP issues too. I am going to second what isthisreallyreal just told you. It’s time to make arrangements to place her somewhere.

Yes, we become miserable and even resentful. I hated feeling resentment or being bitter. Not a good place to be. Not good for the parent either. No one wins.

Do you feel taken for granted? I did. The chronic complaints and anxiety was extremely hard also.

I really hope that you find peace and joy soon. I don’t think you will regret not being a primary caregiver for your mom. It’s hard making the transition. Transitional times are never easy. In the long run it is for the best though.

Best wishes to you. We are here to support you along the way and afterwards. Take care. Hugs!

I lived with my Mom for several years. No dementia. No severe health issues. But she, one brother, niece and nephew gave dysfunction a whole new meaning. One day I said no more and within a few days I moved from Cincinnati OH to northern Maine. Best thing I ever did for myself. Life is never perfect, but sometimes you have to make changes - large or small. I’m sorry you’re having these problems.

You can't have a normal life because you've chosen this life instead, living with your difficult mother for 15 years. You say you cannot stand her, and both of you are angry all the time, so who's benefiting from this situation, exactly?

There IS a way out. Start examining and considering other living arrangements and make your choices wisely.

Good luck!

I hope you are able to find peace as I know how you feel I am having same feels ngs at the start of my days but I said I would do it and keep her out of a facility so I feel I have to so I'm stuck

Are you an only child? Perhaps it's a sibling's turn to take care of your mother.

Are you living in her home, or she in yours?

I have the same issue with my mom, I moved her up to Reno with me, from Arizona do to my brother killing him self, because he couldn’t take care of her anymore. He left her alone and I took over. With all that I was terminated from my job at a wonderful hospital, I took to long in getting her up here. I was devastated!! No one helped the move I did it all by myself. It’s been 3 yrs and I can’t take it anymore, she wants all the control. I work, I get disability, widow pension. I’m 57 and now I have a boyfriend. And she wants to no exactly what time I will be home, we’re I’m going. She is very evil, I do not have a life, it gone.