How do I change power of attorney because my brother is power of attorney and is forcing my mother into a nursing home. She has dementia and cannot legally change the power of attorney. He is talking the doctor into signing a paper that my mother is mentally incapacitated and cannot signing legal documents so I cannot get her to change the power of attorney to me. He abuses his power and will not listen to anything us other siblings have to say. Can I change the power of attorney without a lawyer or what do I do to get it changed. We don't have much money.
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I am sure it’s difficult to see your mom be forced into care.
Even though your brother has POA he can’t force your mom into care. He can trick or manipulate her and if that’s possible, then maybe she needs to be there.
Who is taking care of her at home? If the siblings are gathering around and caring for her then he probably wouldn’t need to take this step. But if he is the one with all the responsibility and doing the caretaking then he may have no choice. It is very difficult to have the responsibility of a loved one. Many times the situation arises that the POA must do what they feel is right. For whatever reason your mom chose him to make decisions for her. She may feel she has no choice but to go along with him at this point. And many people on this forum think they made the right decision to place their parent. They say the parent even likes a NH. I’ve never had to do that but I might one day. It can’t be easy even for your brother. If you think it’s wrong, go see the doctor. Most doctors won’t agree to place an elder unless they think it’s necessary.
As sad as it may be for you, unless you are willing to care for your mom at home, then it’s best to support the decision and help your mom accept it. Unless you have been a hands on caretaker it is difficult for you to know how difficult it can be.
As has been stated, guardianship trumps a POA. Google your state and adult guardianship to learn more.
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