Well, now I know...

I am so sorry your tooth turned into a nightmare. How awful for you! If this pain continues, I’m definitely going to call the dentist.

i understand what you’re saying, Barb. I agree. I can no longer do the things I used to when he first decided to become bedridden. He has made progress after this most recent stint in rehab. The therapist is coming out this week to help him figure out how to get in and out of the car and I hope this isn’t a “pipe dream” and he will actually be able to accomplish it. He is very insistent about getting out of bed each day, But, there are, quite frankly, days I’m just not up to the transfers.

I know there will come a time when I can no longer care for him and so does he. There is no way he’d ever be able to live alone in this house. My kids wouldn’t be able to care for him, at least not in the style to which he is accustomed. I would never, ever expect them to take him into their homes.

We have been living one day at a time for a while now. I know where he will go when the time comes—where my mom was. Our wills and POAs are in order. We have no assets so there’s no issue with that. The biggest job of disposing of our household and house will fall to our son. I’m not ignoring the inevitable, really. But at this point, I just can’t let it overtake every second of every day.

Thanks friend. I know you say this to me because you care.

Don’t think I haven’t considered it. But that would mean leaving my dog and cats behind, and I could never do that. 😢

Hubby travelled a lot for his job years ago. I was left alone with two young children, a house, a car and a household to run. He managed the finances but I handled everything else. He’d cut the grass and do yard work when he was home on weekends, and then fall asleep. We had no social life or friends. It was basically me and the kids and we are very close to this day. My mother, otoh, could barely turn a screwdriver. I appreciate your high estimation of me, but for 45 years, since I was 20, I’ve known no other way. And I don’t think hubby ever has either. He just never knew what it was to be a husband, pretty much coasted along throughout our marriage holding to his own ideas of what being a husband meant. I’m far from perfect as well. But, somehow we managed raise two good kids and have been rewarded with three angel baby grandsons who are our hearts.

Yes strong we are. I am 72, had carotid artery surgery and 3 days later was up cooking my 96 year old mom her food. I am on week 6 and got bronchitis along the way, too. There is no rest

Hi, Dolly. Thanks for your praise. I’m not a superhero. I was just raised (during the fifties and sixties) to believe that the man was the revered member of the family and should be treated as such. It’s been very hard, with the way things are now in the world, to shift gears. He’s not nasty or verbally abusive. He makes very little demands on me, actually. But he’s always been tops on his own list, so why should I expect things to change now? Stress has become a way of life for me, sadly. It’s been this way since 2013 when I had to place my mother, who was a little tyrant in her own right, and when my husband had a life-threatening heart infection. It’s gotten to the point that I wouldn’t know how to live without high- stress But we do what we have to do, don't we? Somehow we make it through.