Question for those wives who had husbands diagnosed in their 60's.

My husband was having mini strokes that affected his cognitive abilities. It wasn’t until the major stroke that we found out.
The signs were:
Being naive about money matters. He gave out his credit card to an unknown caller.
Racist or inappropriate remarks, he’d never been racist before. And really wasn’t after, he had no filters.
No follow through , he said he’d do something but never did.
Got angry more.
Had trouble with his computer at work, always blamed it. Had issues at work I didn’t know about till after.

My husband wasn't diagnosed in his 60s, but it was clear to me and to others that something was wrong. He once made breakfast on Sunday mornings, but gradually became unable to remember how to cook the eggs, how to set table, how to make coffee. Then he just said he didn't want anything but cereal anymore. His fantastic sense of direction was drastically changed--he couldn't find his way to the dentist that he had been to for 20 years. He occasionally saw double and when I asked him to cut some hedges he opened the shears about 6 inches above the stalk. He couldn't use his telephone directory anymore because he couldn't remember the alphabet (a cell phone was way beyond his understanding; this was in 2000). Although he showered daily he washed his hair with Ivory soap and didn't rinse it well, so it caked around his hair. He wouldn't let me wash it for him, but went to Supercuts (with me driving since he couldn't remember how to get there. He bought new clothes after I drove him to the store and then put them away and couldn't find them so had to buy more. He either threw away or lost some of his meds and accused the cleaning woman of stealing them. The scariest thing was seeing people, animals and things that weren't there. He was eventually diagnosed with vascular dementia and died at the age of 71 of a major stroke.

Having recently faced this difficult road with family members, I was grateful to learn a few things up front.

First, many people inaccurately use the word "dementia." Remember that the word, "dementia," is the word which describes a laundry list of symptoms caused by any, or a combination of, over 70 different diseases. Those diseases include Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, etc. People often improperly use "dementia" as if it is the disease itself.

Once that was clear in my head, I understood we were searching for what disease, virus, or medications was causing the dementia behaviors or symptoms.

With my MIL, she had dementia behavior during a UTI that simply needed to be addressed. I had dementia symptoms while taking statin medications. Once those meds were removed my cognitive issues went back to normal. So it's about working with the PCP or neuro-specialist to find the source causing the dementia.

Alzheimer's is just one of many many diseases that could be causing cognitive issues. With my FIL it was determined after scans and many hours of evaluation, that he appears to have FTD.

Having a good neuro-specialist who is well versed in the latest science has made all the difference dealing with my FIL. Had we not been properly educated we would have jumped to just calling it early Alzheimer's. Not understanding that FTD is different would have led to a lot of confusion.

Hope this helps. Prayers for you and your family!

I don't know what age has to do with it, My husband was in his 80's. I noticed that he would notice something was broken and he didn't jump in and fix it. This from a man who kept the house perfect. My real Ah-Ha moment was this. It is HIS kitchen. He was a gourmet cook. He would get upset if I even went into the kitchen while he was cooking. One day I noticed he wasn't upset when I was in there getting some water. I thought "this is weird". The next day same thing. I knew I something drastic was wrong. In my case Hubby is easier to get along with.

He can't plan projects. If a faucet leaks he has a hard time planning to fix it. He trims plants the wrong way at the wrong time of year.

I am so grateful that he has let me take over projects. A lot of men don't. This is from my cell phone so please forgive the sentence structure, spelling etc.

Everyone is different but here are the first things that concerned me (and other people & family members as I found out later) His doctors diagnosed everything from midlife crisis to low blood sugar before referring him for neuro testing. Best of luck to you both. Come back to this site often for info & support. Everyone cares & has so much combined experience!

* loss of social skills
* loss of long term memory BEFORE loss of short term memory
* loss of empathy
* thought rules didn't apply to him
* became suspicious & distrustful
* blamed others for his mistakes
* loss of ability to keep appts or deadlines or manage his time
* total mismanagement of money
* mean & belittling behavior: calling me stupid, saying I had no sense of style, telling me I was a bad wife & mother
* excess alcohol use: an entire bottle of wine or two & 2 glasses of bourbon every night

some first signs were:
-unable to understand “take your pills every 4 hours” he could not add 4 hours to his last dose
-couldn't tell time
-couldn’t see others point of view
-driving; spatial issues
His first test was borderline, but I knew what was up.
Thankfully his restless leg syndrome stopped him driving even before his neuropsychological testing.

Very early on - trouble following conversations in a noisy restaurant (thought it was hearing related), wanting to take a preview ride to new places so he wouldn’t get lost when he had to go to his meeting there, difficulty learning a new task at work, difficulty reading a map - initially diagnosed with MCI and progressed to early Onset Alzheimer’s.

After thirteen years, it's hard to remember the first signs as they have progressed at a snail's pace. But I think the first thing was loss of social skills such as inability to join a conversation. He began monopolizing them and subjecting others to extreme details of his physical complaints. Second was his interest in minutia. Everything became a subject of intense interest and study no matter how obscure. Third was he shut out others' conversations and claimed he never heard them. He withdrew into himself and shut others out. At first, we all thought 'okay, he's always been quiet.' but each of these things slowly got worse.

The only definitive test for Alzheimer's is a brain biopsy - and we do not do those to living people. Usually, family/friends/doctors notice a problem with executive functions - decision-making. It may take the form of difficulty with math, or difficulty with directions, or loss of ability to deal with technology, or following conversations. Of course, doctors rule out stroke and other diseases first before diagnosing with Alzheimer's disease. The earlier the diagnosis is made, the earlier the patient can be placed on medications to preserve those executive functions for as long as possible. Be aware that the medications will not help forever and there is a very definite pathway of decline. Early is better to talk with the patient and family about how to provide care at latter stages of this diease.

Friends and family would tell me that there was something wrong with my husband. I very much appreciated it also.Personality change.When driving somewhere he would ask “which way would you like to go?” He was a very good golfer and knew the rules well. He would blame me for moving if he missed a putt. Would blame other players for talking when he was getting ready to hit a ball. Forgot the rules of the game. Start keeping a list of all the changes you see in him and give it to the receptionist for the Dr to go over before he is seen. He also worked a crossword puzzle every day and I noticed he had not worked one in some time.