I moved my mom from Florida to Boise, Idaho, at the end of July because she has COPD and mobility problems and just wasn’t doing well on her own. I rented a townhouse for her 2 miles from my home so I can visit daily and get her to doctors’ appointments etc. Upon arrival, my formerly fiercely independent mother basically turned all control of her daily life and finances over to me and is apparently happy for me to take care of everything, from cleaning up her every piece of garbage (despite the fact that I have put multiple trash cans within her reach throughout every room) to handling major medical decisions. EXCEPT that she refuses to bathe. She even lies to me and says she has bathed when she hasn’t (no, she doesn’t have dementia). I have tried everything. I am already at the point where I plan to hire someone to help with the cleaning because the stress is taking a toll on my health. But she refuses to consider a home health aide for bathing and simply shuts down every conversation I try to have with her about bathing. Please help - any suggestions?
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Refusing to bathe WILL become YOUR problem one of these days as she develops UTIs as a result. Then you'll be schlepping her off to doctor's offices and getting her prescriptions, etc. If she continues to behave as an invalid, ALL of her issues (real or imagined) WILL become your issues because who ELSE is going to deal with them?
That's the problem in a nutshell.
So have that Come to Jesus meeting with her right away and see where she's at with all of this. For her to heap this burden onto your shoulders is unfair and ridiculous, in my opinion. I'm 62 years old and the very thought of doing such a thing to either of my children is unthinkable! Force her to take some responsibility for herself or YOU will be forced to place her in a facility.
Best of luck!
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I am ready to have the come to Jesus talk with her. Thanks for your advice!