Dad won't hire a lawyer but thinks he will lose everything if he goes in nursing home. Help?

I agree with gladimhere. Your father is expecting someone to volunteer to take care of him and your mother.

DO NOT DO NOT agree to do this!!!

Medicaid will not impoverish the community spouse, your mom.

This is why you NEED an elder law attorney, to protect mom.

Maybe you could find an elder law attorney to attend this family meeting? Nothing worse than starting this journey and not knowing the facts.

I see this going to where dad wants a family volunteer to provide him 24/7 care. Then mom when it becomes necessary.

Brenbell, I just answered on your other thread, but this question gives me more information to help you with. Our first visit to an elder care attorney was free. What you need is advice on how to handle finances when one of the spouses has to be placed and the other is left in the family home. Your mother will not be left destitute, and your father can be placed in a nursing home in a “spend down” situation which would make him eligible for Medicaid. You mentioned in the other post that they have some rental properties. An elder care attorney could advise you about how to sell them and divide the proceeds between your mother and father.

This needs to be discussed at ur meeting.

If Dad needs LTC, thats when u look into Medicaid. This all depends on ur parents assets. I am just giving u an overview.

My GFs parents had 60k in the bank. Medicaid had that split, she got 30k, he received 30k. His half needing to be split down. Not sure how the SS and pensions were split but the Mother was not made impoverished. She remained in the house and was allowed one car. From the recovery paperwork I received for my Mom, a lean will be put on the house upon Dads death but as long as Mom lives there, no recovery will be made until she sells or passes.

At this point, with the 5 yr lookback, I don't think Dad will be able to protect any assets. I do suggest talking to a lawyer who knows Medicaid.

I just saw this after responding to your other post. What your dad expressed is a common fear. What is the "everything" he thinks he will lose? I think he may be referring to the profound change and what it means. You can allay your dad's fears of leaving your mother underfunded by taking them both to talk to an elder law attorney and estate planner. Even if they aren't flush with funds, this will be money well spent and at a minimum, will purchase peace of mind knowing that they will have all the available legal protections in place for both of them.