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Rhianna Asked November 2019

My mom is 75. She has vascular dementia. Since Monday she’s been bleeding. I took her to the hospital. Any suggestions?

The first thing the doctor.


She will have cancer. Since taking her to the er, she’s still bleeding. She doesn’t have a doctors appointment till December 2. What can I do to help her. I’m so afraid of what’s to come. Please someone tell me which direction to go!

lealonnie1 Nov 2019
It's totally irresponsible for an ER doc to tell you your mother 'probably has cancer' and to then turn her away to see her PCP and wash his hands of the matter! It's horrible what medicine has devolved into, especially where the elderly are concerned.

If your mother's blood is bright red, it could easily be hemorroids or some other issue (like a tear) in the upper anal canal that is not cancerous. If her blood is black, then it's likely older blood either coming from the stool itself or from deeper within the colon. I would not immediately jump to a horrifying diagnosis based on no empirical evidence.

My ex husband, by the way, was diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer in 2017 and is in full remission nowadays getting 100% clean PET scans every 6 months. Even cancer these days is not an automatic death sentence.

As the others have said, however, I'd get her back to the ER or call 911 and have the EMS team take her there by ambulance. Don't take no for an answer! THEY can call your mom's PCP from the hospital!!

GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!
worriedinCali Nov 2019
Lealonnie, sadly I think this is how a lot of ERs operate. They treat the symptoms rather than diagnose and cure. What the OP has described sounds like my local hospital (which is privately owned! Not a county run hospital.)They treat your symptoms and tell you to follow up with your PCP.
and your PCP? If you were to call them about something like this after hours, they’d tell you to go the ER! Crazy isn’t it? And need to see a specialist? They contact the specialist and give a referral and then you have to wait for the specialist to CALL YOU with the appointment and you must allow at least a week for then to contact you. And very rarely can the PCP call and get you in sooner!

But go to Florida....Sarasota specifically....and it’s a world of difference! The care is much better. My hubby’s best friends parents are snowbirds and his dad had a TIA on the plane ride there about a year ago. He went to the ER, got a proper diagnosis and saw a specialist the next day. He was blown away because that just does not happen in california! It probably would have taken a week or 2 to get some answers!

as a side note, the last time I had to go to the ER, I had been on my way to urgent care because I developed head to toe hives. I was 7 weeks pregnant and benedryl wasn’t working. Just my luck, I got rear ended by an 83 year old who should not have been driving. So I went to the ER and had an ultrasound and they did not tell me anything the ultrasound showed but they gave me a radiologists report and told me to follow up with my doctor. My hubby had to google the terminology on the report to figure out what it said and basically, something was wrong but we weren’t sure what. So I get in to see my doctor a week later and he tells me my placenta has a tear and to avoid all physical activity! The ER doctor never said a word to me about it!
BarbBrooklyn Nov 2019
Rhianna, your PCP can get your mother in to see a colorectal surgeon sooner than December 2nd.

My daughter was in terrible pain last week. Sent to ER by her PCP. They ruled out heart stuff and really terribly stuff like gal bladder and pancreatitis. They told her to see a GI doc. That doc gave her an appointment for 2 weeks hence.

She called back her PCP who called the GI doc and she was seen the next day, and scoped the day after that.

Your PCP can make this happen quicker. Your mom needs you to be her advocate RIGHT NOW. get on the phone...now.

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GardenArtist Nov 2019
Rhianna, is insurance an issue?   When you're getting the run-around, that's a possibility.   Or are you in a rural area where the medical facilities are limited, and the treatment equally limited?   

I'm just finding it hard to believe someone who's bleeding or hemorrhaging is being turned away or dismissed after a few hours.  

But I totally agree that she needs to be seen in an ER, NOW, especially if there has been consistent, continual bleeding.    And I would seriously consider Barb's suggestion of calling EMS; that heightens the level of attention at the ER, in my opinion.  And it's another level of documentation if you have to take the whole issue any further.

BarbBrooklyn Nov 2019
Call mom's PCP office right now. Talk to the service and tell them that mom is "losing blood rectally". Insist that she be seen in the office tomorrow.

You are not calling to ask for an appointment. You "have an emergency and your mom needs to be seen today".

If they try to put you off, call 911 and have mom taken to the ER and tell them that PCP refused you an immediate appointment.

CaregiverL Nov 2019
Where is she bleeding from? Does she take blood thinner? That could cause bleeding & maybe medication adjustment needed. Taking her to ER good idea because you can’t wait for that dr appointment. They’ll give all the necessary tests there & you can speak w any Specialists. Also a Hematologist should evaluate her while in ER . Let them admit her to hospital so she could be thoroughly checked out. Good luck...Hugs 🤗
Rhianna Nov 2019
Bleeding rectally. She does not take a blood thinner. Took mom to the ER, and told me to take her to her primary and they will tell you what to do. No, hematologist was not done while in the ER
earlybird Nov 2019
I would take your mother to another ER ASAP. I would insist she be admitted for observation. Tell them you will not take her home in her condition. Be firm but tactful.
lealonnie1 Nov 2019
DO NOT admit an elder on Medicare for 'observation' as Medicare WILL NOT pay for 'observation' bills!!!!!! Insist your mother be ADMITTED to the hospital for evaluation.
Isthisrealyreal Nov 2019
Can you take her to a different ER?

I can't imagine that she was sent home still bleeding.

Is it a lot of blood, is it constant or just when she has a BM?

If my loved one had blood oozing out their back end I would not be taking them out of the ER. If it was only with a BM, gosh it could be an internal hemorrhoid and not much to do except a stool softener.

Can you give more information?

Tothill Nov 2019
Rhianna,

You must be so scared right now.

Did the ER Doc do a rectal exam to determine if it the blood could be coming from hemorrhoids? I have a friend who suffers terribly from them and her internal ones will bleed, especially if she has been constipated.

Which doctor is she seeing on December 2, her primary or the surgeon?

If it is your family doctor, I can understand with flu season and a holiday week coming up that they may be extra busy. But I would call again Monday morning and tell them you need help and support right away. You need guidance as to what to do.

If it is the surgeon's office, I would still be calling her GP to get in next week. You cannot deal with this for 2 weeks without any medical guidance.

If the bleeding does not settle down overnight, take her back to the ER. Keep note of how much blood there is. You can put a maxi pad in her panties and see how often it needs to be replaced.

Now, if it is cancer, luckily many people even aged 75+ have surgery for it and live on for several or more years. But there are other conditions that can lead to a rectal bleed that are not cancer.

Is the blood red or black?
Rhianna Nov 2019
Surgeon. Mom has vascular dimentia, will she be ok if she needs surgery
JoAnn29 Nov 2019
You need to call the doctor. Tell the Nurse what is going on. Maybe they will fit u in.
Rhianna Nov 2019
Hi, I did call the doctor, they want her to see a colon rectal surgeon. I did call them to get mom in...not till December 2nd. She still is bleeding
againx100 Nov 2019
When you took her to the ER, what happened there? Why do they think she's bleeding? Why did they release her? What did they tell you to look for as far as changes, etc.?

My mom had bleeding (rectal) once that went on long enough to prompt me to take her to the ER and they admitted her to monitor her and it ended up fine but you just don't know.

Sometimes unexplained bleeding is cancer but not always.

If the bleeding is fairly large in amount, you could go back to ER or to a walkin, etc. 12/2 if quite a ways away.
Rhianna Nov 2019
When I took her to the ER, I was told that everything that she needed done they would not do it in the ER and that it was up to her doctor.
Midkid58 Nov 2019
I think we need a lot more information. From where is she bleeding? Why are you sure she has cancer? A patient with bleeding and vascular dementia should not be waiting for 2 weeks to see a Dr. You call her doc and explain the situation and they blow you off, go go back to the ER and DEMAND some answers.

When you go to the ER or DR, be her advocate and talk for her, if she is incapabale of talking for herself.

One HUGE mistake we often make as CGs is to sit quietly and have some kind of godlike worship for the doctor, Trust me, they are NOT gods. 2 of my kids are drs and BOTH missed the OBVIOUS warning signs of DH's impending heart attack. BOTH of them. Even when I asked them to 'take a look at dad' they barely glanced at him. I should have gone with my instincts and just taken him to the ER, he would not have had 2 heart attacks.

In fact, just take her to the ER today. Right now.
Rhianna Nov 2019
The hospital doctor said because she’s 75, she most likely has cancer. I was totally shocked, I wasn’t expecting that kind of an answer. I did call her primary and she referred mom to a colon rectal surgeon, but not till December 2nd. Will mom suffer more? What can I expect. I’m so worried for mom.

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