When’s the right time to consider putting a loved one in a nursing home? Are there any different options?

So sad. I’m surprised at how many grandkids are helping grandparents. These are your building years to prepare for your future. As you say you have to start looking at opportunities for your own future.

You sound like a lovely granddaughter and I am sure that your grandpa loves you as much as you love him. So sorry that your grandma died unexpectedly. I’m sure you both miss her terribly.

Your grandpa will understand that you have more responsibility now that you are getting closer to graduating. You should start looking at your options now. My daughter is graduating this year and she is planning to interview as soon as possible with companies.

Can you call his doctor or the hospital that he uses and ask to speak with a social worker. Social workers are wonderful with helping you plan for an elderly person’s needs. Be honest with them and tell them he needs care and unfortunately that you will no longer be able to provide for him.

Are you providing all of his care now? You can call Council on Aging. They help seniors in their homes. They can deliver meals, tidy up their room, sit a couple of times a month for four hours at the time. There is a waiting list in most areas. They will come to your home to do an assessment and tell you if he qualifies for receiving help.

You should not sacrifice your future and he will adjust. Go and visit him as much as you like after his placement.

Best wishes to you and your your grandpa. You are so caring to have shown so much love to your grandpa. He is blessed to have you in his life. I can tell by your posting how much he means to you.

Good luck with school and you certainly deserve a wonderful future.

He may not need a "Nursing home"
He might do well in Assisted Living.
If he has memory issues where he might wander out of the facility he could use Memory Care facility.
A "Nursing Home" I think of as skilled nursing (also known as SNF) and he would need that if he required mechanical aid to get him up out of bed, more than 1 or 2 people to transfer him or other medical help.
So when you look at facilities look first for those that are Assisted Living then Memory Care. Tour several. It might also be possible to place him for Respite so see how he does but that might not give you a good indication as it often takes more than 1 week to adjust.
Have you given thought to having a caregiver come in and care for him while you are at school and or work? And if Adult Day Care is a possibility along with a caregiver you might be able to make it workout.

Also I have to ask..is grandpa a Veteran? if so depending on where and when he served the VA might be able to help as well. So that is another option you can look into.

There are plenty resources here. I agree you need to live your life, while he receives good care.
Hope you find something soon

You need to confide in a counselor at your school and tell them what you’re facing. This is a difficult and confusing process and with your other responsibilities, it’s just too much for you to handle. Grandpa/ Uncle may not realize he needs help and he will need some convincing. Is your mother still alive or your father? Any cousins or other distant relatives? Family of Grandpa’s friends? Church members or a pastor? You can also call your local Area Agency on Aging for help.

Sounds like he needs a nursing home now and you need to be building your own life. Where are his children? Why are they helping out?