Any thoughts about how seniors deal with losing an adult child?

holidays shmolidays ,
the fn pain never goes away .

I lost my daughter at 33 years old almost 8 years ago. Your friends mother will never get over losing her son. The grieving never ends, we just learn how to carry it with us. You are a blessing to her. She needs someone to talk and share with and someone who will talk about her boy. Many people seem to dissapear as they don't know what to say/do, when all that they need to do is be there.

You should never feel guilty about grief.
Someone aptly wrote....
Grief never ends, but it changes. It's a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. It is the price of love.

Thank you for your input and kind words. This experience has taught me a lot. I now reflect on life more so than ever. I keep asking myself, if this great person was taken away so early, then what is going on? It just seems so unreal. This man was the kindest, sweetest, funniest, devoted person, I think I've ever known. He got me. We didn't even have to speak......so, with him gone....my only solace is that I'll see him again one day!

I've decided to have a moment of tribute to my friend when I go with mutual friends to FL in Jan. It'll be the first time at the ocean since he died. He loved the ocean. I'm not sure what it will entail, but, probably some music, a poem and moment of silence. I can share with it his mother and I think she will like it. Another mutual friend just planted a tree in a local park in his honor. I shared that with some photos with his mother and she was so touched. I'm going to see if we can place a plaque there in his memory.

My parents and I lost our firstborn infant sons. When people choose not to deal with their grief, it manifests itself in many ways. My parents had a tumultuous marriage and my childhood was marred by trauma. Since my mother suffers from depression, we went to family therapy when my son passed away. I was worried she was going to relapse. She stopped going after a few months but it was helpful.

The best gift you can give to any bereaved parent is to speak their child’s name and ask about their child. I think what you’re doing is wonderful. The pain never goes away but softens over time. It’s been over 40 years for my parents and three years for me. Hugs and blessings to you both.

Losing a child is the world turned upside down.

It shouldn't happen.

You can develop coping mechanisms, but I dont believe to ever "move on" as you do from the loss of a parent or a spouse.

I am a parent that has lost an adult child.
One of the phrases I cringe whenever I hear it from others and that has been echoed here several times is, "I can't imagine what you are going through." Please imagine or don't, but stop saying it. Simply, saying, "I am sorry," is a thoughtful and kind response. Another one is, "Is there anything I can do for you?" A hug is helpful too.

As I get older (67), I miss not being a grandmother or having grandchildren of his to see the generations in my family grow. Seth was my only child. I encourage people having children to have at least two. My older sister passed away, and I see how fortunate my mother (89) is to have me take care of her and all the myriad of extensive responsibilities it entails. It is critical to have an advocate as we age and I represent that for her well being. I am also acutely aware that I have no one as both husband and son passed away.

One of the books I read on grief shared how it is not something you get over like a cold or the flu. Our children will always be a part of us--the most we can hope for is to find a way to integrate the loss into our lives. I teach college math and by helping other students that were my son's age when he passed, helps me give back to them in their quest for success.

My brother died in 2012 at the age of 53. We all still mourns. Mom always says, "Things would be so much different if Bobby were still alive," and it's true. All I can tell you is that it gets better but never all the way.

You don't get over grief for a loved one who has did, but you learn how to carry it.