How do I deal with my dads constant drop ins for silly things?

That would bother me too. I have no idea, what's up, but, my first question would be whether he is remembering the prior visits. My LO, who has dementia, started by calling me repeatedly, only she didn't recall that she had called me earlier in the day. And, if I visited her, she'd forget the next day that I had been. You might investigate to see if that is what is happening. Or, maybe, he's afraid of being alone. I know that my LO also was having strange delusions and couldn't tell what was real. She needed to be with me for support and comfort.

Is it possible your dad is not remembering he was already at your house once on the same day? Could it be a form of OCD or OCPD? Also, "anti-depressant meds can cause suicidal thoughts" ...is the very definition of irony. I never knew that...how worrisome. My 90-yr old mother lives next door to me and often doesn't even knock. Flies over before I even have my coat off from working all day. I just keep gently reminding her that we're love her and are happy to see her but still need privacy. She gets offended every time. Like Groundhog's Day. Peace to you!

Yes and no... he takes Prozac and goes to va meetings and a counseling appointments (through the VA) every week. We offered to find an outside counselor but he declined as usual keeping true to his stubborn ways! I should mention that he did lose his home last year in the Campfire and that’s when this all began. He lived with me for 3 months bought another house back in the burn area that survived. He slept there for maybe a month before finding out he has lung cancer and moving in with my sister. He’s made it clear that he would prefer to live here with us again but I’ve told him that we just can’t! The biggest reason is that he is still smoking “because he is stressed” and I get upset with him about it. I explain it is painful to watch and I honestly just can’t deal with the smell of smoke. The smell that permeates from him even though he smokes outside the smell is throughout my house for hours. his doc just started him on a smoking cessation drug a couple of weeks ago that my dad claims “ain’t working worth a $hit” lol!!! ..but because of potential side effects, his doc didn’t want to prescribe any other meds. my dad was also worried that antidepressant meds can cause suicidal thoughts..

Make sure your dad's depression gets treated and then change the locks. Don't give him a new key. It's not mean, it's setting boundaries. When my folks moved near me when my son was born, they dropped in unexpectedly. They did that exactly ONCE and I told them to please not do it again, and they were respectful of my wishes.

If your father's actions are going to cause you stress and exacerbate an existing illness, I'd change the locks. Set up a daily time to go over there to 'give him a hug' and call it a day. That's doing things on YOUR terms and puts things in a whole new light. He will look forward to seeing you at a similar time every day for a few minutes and you'll both be better off in the long run.

Best of luck!

Had this same problem with my father after my mom died. He would show up unannounced and just let himself in with his key. It was a real problem for my husband who felt his privacy violated. I also realized that my father was like this with everyone. If we went to visit anyone he would do a quick knock but then just let himself in with out waiting for someone to answer the door. I have no idea how he thought this was acceptable behavior.

I had to sit him down and tell him he needed to stop walking into our house which he took offence at. Too bad. Just because your father is ill does not give him a pass on acceptable behavior. And like your father he really didn't listen to me anyway. Started locking the deadbolt...that slowed him down.

Is his depression being treated?