My mom had to move from an apartment into a NH rather quickly. My husband and I basically threw all her belongings into boxes, labeled them, and put them in our storage room. Most of her furniture we sold or gave away, as we really couldn't accommodate it, but there are a lot of small things like kitchen utensils that she will likely never use again. Every once in a while, she will ask for something that was (for example) in her top desk drawer, and I can locate it and bring to her. Sometimes her memory is amazing!
She likes to think that she will one day be independent again and need all those things, but I seriously doubt that she will ever be able to live alone or even in an assisted living situation.
I don't want to point that out because I'm sure it would make her sad - she's already sad that she doesn't have anywhere to keep all but just a few of her knick-knacks, photo albums, and such. Those things I would certainly hold on to for her. But the random things, the dozens of shoes she probably won't ever wear, the clothes that are too formal ever to be worn in a NH...how do I bring up the topic of letting them go without making her uncomfortable? We are running out of room for our own things, plus there is the possibility of moving.
38 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
ADVERTISEMENT
Thanks in advance!
CaregiverL
If there is anything of use to you or other family members dole the items out as fairly as possible.
Anything that no one wants and does not seem to be of value donate to a shelter or charitable resale shop.
Anything that may be of value that no one want can be sold and the money used for her care.
If she asks for something the new answer will be...I will look for it as soon as I can. I had to move a lot of the boxes to get ready for the holidays so I am not sure where the box from the bedroom is or the box of kitchen items, they all got moved.
By the way formal clothes..your local high school theater group would probably love them if they can not be sold on consignment. (difference between "old" and "vintage" might be the difference between an item being worth $ and an item worth $$$)
Grandma has some great advice, esp. about the formal wear. It might be considered vintage and be worth some $$ in a vintage resale shop, if you're in the mood to do some footwork.
I first went thru and got rid of junk first. We have bulk pick up once a month. That all went out. My brother came up and he and his wife took what they wanted. There were 4 of us. I bought storage boxes with lids and put each of our names on the boxes. I lined them up and started taking albums apart. Giving each child the pictures that had something to do with them. Then I started splitting Mom and Dads pictures up. Dads service pictures to the boys. Every time I found something pertaining to a certain child, I thru it in the box. The boxes were given to them and they determined what they were keeping.
Her baking stuff went to a friend who baked a lot. Other things to a Thrift shop. Your Mom will only need a few clothes in an NH. My Mom had lost weight so I kept the size she wore and the size above. When she gained her weight back, I had clothes for her. Shoes, get rid of them. Keep the comfortable ones. Mom had 3 pr, navy blue, brown and black to go with different outfits. Didn't really matter, the aid took the pair her hand touched first. Actually, I was trying to find a pair of canvas slip ons. Easier to get on and off and comfortable. She will need only 5 to 7 outfits depending on how the facility does laundry. And thats all u want to leave besides socks and underwear. Keep things u think she could wear when the other clothes wear out. Moms winter coat I kept home. I took it with me if we were taking her out. I had under the bed boxes, I kept at my house, for when I switched Mom from winter to Summer. Don't leave anything that is of sentimental value or valuable. The residents are known to pick things up out of other rooms.
If your Mom has been excepted into LTC, I doubt if she will ever come out. So get rid of anything she will never use. If she asks for something you don't have just say she is limited to what she can bring with her.
.
People used to be trusting of everyone unless they had a reason not to trust them. Nowadays, people are very scared to trust others.
When I was pregnant I had to be on complete bedrest. The woman I hired as a housekeeper was stealing from me.
I was so disappointed in her. I trusted her. I gave her a chance and she decided to steal from me. I told her and I meant it, “If you had only asked me for these things and told me that you needed to extra help, I would have gladly given them to you but now I can’t trust you so unfortunately, I have to ask you to leave my home and not return.