How do you respond or address mom with dementia hiding food?
She sneaks food from kitchen all the time. Not sure why, no reason I guess, but I am afraid of her getting sick if she eats something that I don't find in time. Any ideas about this would be great?😵
My Mom does the same almost every day though she is in a nursing home but thinks the dining room is hers to take what she wants so she helps herself and puts them in her room in cupboards etc but I chuck them (I'm there most days) when she isn't looking. The staff in dining room tried locking fridge but other residents got upset so not allowed to do that. And no I won't get a fridge for her cause it will just go bad there as well. So far that works!
What about creating a cupboard that has her name and picture on it and storing her snacks in there?
I got my dad a little fridge that he could keep his bologna and miracle whip in, yuck! I did get him drinking unsweetened almond milk instead of chocolate milk and he always kept a quart or 2 for a sweet treat. He had a large drawer under the fridge for bread and chips and canned food, he loves beanie weenies and vienna sausages. I couldn't take him shopping, I can't in good conscience feed anyone that stuff. No judgment, just picky. But allowing him to have that stash in his room satisfied something that he couldn't explain.
I didn't mean literally having a name on it. If something looks good, I sometimes say, Yes I ate it; IT HAD MY NAME ON IT !! :) jokingly. Gets my family upset sometimes, but if it's there for the taking... I am taking it, if I want it. :)
Whey don't you put her own little Shelf or drawer in her room to let her put her food treasures. You'll be able to check the food every day to make sure it's still good to eat.
If she is doing that, she may be doing other things even more dangerous--- start looking for an assisted living facility-- where she will not have access to a mini-kitchen or even a stove. In the meantime, do not try to talk sense or even debate with her-- you will be wasting your breath. Remember you 10 absolute-- #2-- never reason, redirect, divert. When you find stashed goodies-- take them out of the house-- and keep your kitchen trashcan emptied more often-- I tried keeping Mom but it was a losing battle--- she needed a good place to go and eventually to pass away there. It was a LONG road. Good luck, God bless.
Don't worry about her getting pissed...but do worry about something not working or being able to be ripped off the fridge like an adhesive item...Our fridge is new so we alleviated the constant turning of the dial making the temp warm in there...talk about a pain...spoiled food etc...I have been considering the fridge locks but don't want to mar the finish...I was thinking of the rope idea myself...but as far as being pissed, if the idea is acceptable, let me tell you that we had an issue with mom doing the wash poorly...as in too much detergent causing dad to have hives and an ER visit...so we just put a locking doorknob handset on the laundry room door. OH she got pissed alright. Tried throwing her weight against it; got hold of dad's keys and tried different ones (it was on there but she didn't master it)...and then it just was given up. I did catch her yesterday at it, but just trying to turn the knob and turned away when it didn't open. I'm thinking of getting a little fridge for the family room for snacks for her...and locking the kitchen doors to keep her out totally...but I doubt that will be a good plan...
My mom does some of this, though she doesn't hide things on purpose unless it's to hide the evidence (she's diabetic with a sweet tooth and loves to lick salt off crackers with CHF) but I think her food "hording" if you will is more about not wanting to make another trip to the kitchen, she would be happy with once every few days if we let her, as well as not wanting to come in contact with the boarders that live upstairs. She will go to the big picture window which is in her main private area of the house, to see who's car is there before going out into the shared kitchen. If she waits until the one particular boarder's car is gone she knows there is no chance of running into him, he's a chatter and she isn't he is also closer to her age than the others we have had so she stocks up when she has the kitchen to herself and makes herself get up to use it. She doesn't really leave food that will spoil out though, hard cheese sometimes but typically anything she does take into her room gets eaten throughout the day.
Might it be that your mom just doesn't want to make another trip to the kitchen and takes more than she will actually eat? That coupled with other dementia related factors... It means a bit more work and planning for you but maybe coupled with the snack basket idea making things that wont spoil easily accessible using that idea in your kitchen could help. Putting things that wont spoil quickly in the front and most easily accessible spots in the fridge, things you don't want her absconding with in higher cabinets, just making it more difficult for her to get at the things you prefer she doesn't take anywhere without "barring" her from them. See if that helps, it may not. You might find that you need to keep better track of those things she takes or that are missing so if you have grapes for instance available you know by looking at the bowl if she took any to her room and if so you know to check for the evidence they were consumed or look for them if there isn't any.
The other thing of course that you could do is get a couple of camera's, maybe one in the kitchen and one in her room, that are motion triggered so you can see what she carries out of the kitchen and what happens to it in her room if it's missing. This doesn't mean you need to spend a lot of time looking back through her day but when you aren't sure what happened to that plate of food or spoon she took to her room you can kind of go back to see. If it weren't for the camera over my mom's table's and the Echo's there is no way we would be able to manage her well enough. Depending or your longer term plan these are things better put in place sooner rather than later so your mom can adjust to them before it's too late for her to have the ability to adjust, if that makes sense.... Good luck, this is always a journey of discovery and a lesson in adaptability, ingenuity I have found!
Yea .. it's a common thing. My mom takes apples & oranges from the common area in her retirement home.. then she wants to give them to me, I tell her we can't eat that much & they're for the residents. I told the mgr., she smiled & said it's common. I took them out of my purse to give back but she can't take them back when they're in my possession - I now make a lot of fruit salads :) Now, I don't sweat the small stuff... she can take whatever she wants & if she dies from eating it .. she's an adult, even with her increasing memory loss - I can't stop her. My mom walked around her suite without a walker after hip surgery from a fall ... she didn't like me being "Dr. daughter' so I let it go .. she's going to do it if I'm not there anyway.. I just helped her find ways to do as much as she could safely without the walker .. 3 mos. has passed and she got a cane but hardly uses it, even with instability. I say, if she dies trying to be independent, forgetful ... she's dying how she wants. I
I am not dealing wit full blown Alzheimers, but the dementia where they forget/rememberforget/recall .. that crazy period where they KNOW they are forgetting stuff & it does scare them some. My mom was always very independent - we know they're going to do some crazy stuff. I finally got her to give me some clothes to wash after 9 mos. of trying .. yea, big accomplishment !
I feel like, for the most part my mom is safe from big harm, if she falls or whatever, she's an adult & is striving to continue living life on her terms (as much as possible - she would rather live on her own still, the retirement home w/ meals, cleaning etc.. helps her & makes me feel better - even though she likes the people but dislikes the decline in her health & isolation (b/c she won't do any activities :/ , that's another post, again up to her )
My moms steals candy, scissors, knives, pastries, etc...I find them all over her assisted living apartment....under the bed, in the couch cushions... I don't have any suggestions other than locking everything down which would be a pain for everyone else in the house. Just wanted to let you know it's pretty common.
When we had toddlers, they once got into medications and spilled pills on the floor. I was scared. Since the meds were bitter I knew they would never eat them after a taste. However, I proceeded to lock up everything that they could get into. Consider getting child locks on cabinets and the refrigerator.
I also like the idea of having a snack basket that mom can help herself to - day or night. Fill it with bottles of water and juices, easy to eat fruit, shelf stable cheese and crackers or nut butters and crackers... She may have gone through a period in her past where food was scarce or more difficult to come by.
My Grandpa did this often. Went through the depression and thats where his mind went when dementia set in. Peanut butter sandwiches were his go to. Always hid under his mattress.
I think you are just getting into it. Sharing and leaving things out is just fine. Until! You find a bag of noodles all over the floor, 25 feet of plastic wrap all over the kitchen, a bottle of liquid soap open and your mother tasting it, the refer standing open for a long time and food smeared/spilled around……. then you will learn to be constantly vigilant, and to hide stuff and to bring out JUST what is needed and no more and keep track of that and put it away afterwards. Luck to ya.
we are having the same problem - she'll eat anything - it's a bit scary & definately frustrating (she'll eat other peoples food) i REALLY like the suggestion for making the WELCOME BASKET and plan on trying it - thanks for the idea !
yea, that sounds like a good idea to have available.. however, there's no common sense to it so & inhibitions are gone if she eats other people's food - frontal lobe are of brain). Wish you the best !
It may also be just a last case of independence, going to the kitchen, checking out the cupboards and the refrigerator, taking something that "has your name on it".
Having a bit of mischievous, or something to that effect.
No it's not cuz it has my name on it we don't play that what's there is there for all whoever needs or wants I'm just scared she will find a peice of chicken that was forgot about & make herself sick
If you think it's dangerous to her health, I'd just watch her every time she goes in kitchen. She may not like having access, but, that's how it works. She has to be protected from herself. We had to put a clear protective lock box on top of the AC/Heat thermostat, because, my LO would not stop putting the heat on 90! Even when it was 80 degrees outside! She would approach the box, see she couldn't get it off and eventually, she left it alone. I did sometimes find bags of chips or cookies in her drawers, but, that was not a problem. It won't do any good to ask her to stop doing it, because, she'll likely forget about doing it and about what you asked her.
Unless she's hiding seafood in her underwear drawer or something... I'm struggling to imagine what she's taking and where's she's putting it that you won't find in time and that will constitute a food poisoning risk.
What does she generally do with the food she takes?
Things both edible and otherwise get took and put away or hidden. The item is then forgotten. It’s a behavioral pattern that will pass. Since the pattern is random it is impossible to outguess. Rotten fruit may well be in the lower drawer under the underwear. With food prevention is the only solution.
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I put a pot lid away one morning and found it 3 months later under a pile of quilting material. :-)
Zip Ties.... Just hide the scissors so she won't hurt herself. The come in packages,a nd get the heavier ones. HOme depot, Lowes, Target maybe... No locks, keys, or numbers...
Make a special "welcome basket" in her room with snacks that you are ok with for her to eat. Like in a hotel... Lil water bottles, fig nutines. cheezits, gold fish crackers. LIttle individual packs, placed nicely ina little disply tray.. And if you are okay, with that, maybe a fresh fruit of somekind, apple, or orange, or a little bunch of grapes, or individual packs of dried plums (prunes). It doesns't have to be a big tray, just a small one with a few things in it for her to choose. cheese n cracker packs, you know, the ones we stuck in our kids lunch boxes.
Before MIL, who has alzheimers dementia, was moved to Memory Care unit in NH, she helped herself to food from other residents trays. The aids would find food under blankets or in pockets of her pants. That was one of the reasons she was then moved to MC. After a while, she stopped this behaviour. Your Mom may just stop doing this. In the meantime, locks are a good idea.
If you don't want to use locks to prevent her from hiding food, how on earth would you stop her from doing it, at least with refrigerated foods?? You're better off getting her a bit irritated than worrying about whether or not she'll get sick from eating spoiled food she's managed to hide in her room! The other non perishables you can put in high cabinets where she can't reach the handles, but it's the perishables you're worried about.
She would be furious if I do that cuz I did lock pantry door one-time with a child proof handle covershe was pissed so I tryed telling her it was to keep my grand kids out of it but she managed to pry it off someway when no one was looking
I had to lock the refer & freezer. Used some good looking glue-on cables. One on door other on side of refer. Then a small padlock thru the loops. Kept the key high up on a top shelf. You quickly get used to and good at the rigamarole of accessing the refer. Google refer locking.
I put many items in cupboards elsewhere in the house. Inconvenient yes, but again you get used to it. You might never completely conquer the situation but it can be minimized. Locking the cupboards is a real pain - just move stuff away.
================= Prior to the refer locks I tied the refer shut with a rope wrapped around it. Had to tie a fancy knot to keep it from getting solved. Got me by till the locks were shipped. That rope was a pain.
Is it mostly a certain kind of food? Like candy? Or a variety? The only thing I can think of is to put food high up in cabinets where she can't see or reach it or relocate (non-cold items) in tubs or inside pots and pans where she normally wouldn't look. Not a great solution but if she's taking food from fridge hopefully another caregiver will provide a better answer. Good luck!
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Make sure she cannot get access to items like hard candy that would be deemed a choking hazard.
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I got my dad a little fridge that he could keep his bologna and miracle whip in, yuck! I did get him drinking unsweetened almond milk instead of chocolate milk and he always kept a quart or 2 for a sweet treat. He had a large drawer under the fridge for bread and chips and canned food, he loves beanie weenies and vienna sausages. I couldn't take him shopping, I can't in good conscience feed anyone that stuff. No judgment, just picky. But allowing him to have that stash in his room satisfied something that he couldn't explain.
Might it be that your mom just doesn't want to make another trip to the kitchen and takes more than she will actually eat? That coupled with other dementia related factors... It means a bit more work and planning for you but maybe coupled with the snack basket idea making things that wont spoil easily accessible using that idea in your kitchen could help. Putting things that wont spoil quickly in the front and most easily accessible spots in the fridge, things you don't want her absconding with in higher cabinets, just making it more difficult for her to get at the things you prefer she doesn't take anywhere without "barring" her from them. See if that helps, it may not. You might find that you need to keep better track of those things she takes or that are missing so if you have grapes for instance available you know by looking at the bowl if she took any to her room and if so you know to check for the evidence they were consumed or look for them if there isn't any.
The other thing of course that you could do is get a couple of camera's, maybe one in the kitchen and one in her room, that are motion triggered so you can see what she carries out of the kitchen and what happens to it in her room if it's missing. This doesn't mean you need to spend a lot of time looking back through her day but when you aren't sure what happened to that plate of food or spoon she took to her room you can kind of go back to see. If it weren't for the camera over my mom's table's and the Echo's there is no way we would be able to manage her well enough. Depending or your longer term plan these are things better put in place sooner rather than later so your mom can adjust to them before it's too late for her to have the ability to adjust, if that makes sense.... Good luck, this is always a journey of discovery and a lesson in adaptability, ingenuity I have found!
Now, I don't sweat the small stuff... she can take whatever she wants & if she dies from eating it .. she's an adult, even with her increasing memory loss - I can't stop her.
My mom walked around her suite without a walker after hip surgery from a fall ... she didn't like me being "Dr. daughter' so I let it go .. she's going to do it if I'm not there anyway.. I just helped her find ways to do as much as she could safely without the walker .. 3 mos. has passed and she got a cane but hardly uses it, even with instability.
I say, if she dies trying to be independent, forgetful ... she's dying how she wants. I
I am not dealing wit full blown Alzheimers, but the dementia where they forget/rememberforget/recall .. that crazy period where they KNOW they are forgetting stuff & it does scare them some. My mom was always very independent - we know they're going to do some crazy stuff. I finally got her to give me some clothes to wash after 9 mos. of trying .. yea, big accomplishment !
I feel like, for the most part my mom is safe from big harm, if she falls or whatever, she's an adult & is striving to continue living life on her terms (as much as possible - she would rather live on her own still, the retirement home w/ meals, cleaning etc.. helps her & makes me feel better - even though she likes the people but dislikes the decline in her health & isolation (b/c she won't do any activities :/ , that's another post, again up to her )
I also like the idea of having a snack basket that mom can help herself to - day or night. Fill it with bottles of water and juices, easy to eat fruit, shelf stable cheese and crackers or nut butters and crackers... She may have gone through a period in her past where food was scarce or more difficult to come by.
Peanut butter sandwiches were his go to. Always hid under his mattress.
Having a bit of mischievous, or something to that effect.
What does she generally do with the food she takes?
==========
I put a pot lid away one morning and found it 3 months later under a pile of quilting material. :-)
Make a special "welcome basket" in her room with snacks that you are ok with for her to eat. Like in a hotel... Lil water bottles, fig nutines. cheezits, gold fish crackers. LIttle individual packs, placed nicely ina little disply tray.. And if you are okay, with that, maybe a fresh fruit of somekind, apple, or orange, or a little bunch of grapes, or individual packs of dried plums (prunes). It doesns't have to be a big tray, just a small one with a few things in it for her to choose. cheese n cracker packs, you know, the ones we stuck in our kids lunch boxes.
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I put many items in cupboards elsewhere in the house. Inconvenient yes, but again you get used to it. You might never completely conquer the situation but it can be minimized. Locking the cupboards is a real pain - just move stuff away.
=================
Prior to the refer locks I tied the refer shut with a rope wrapped around it. Had to tie a fancy knot to keep it from getting solved. Got me by till the locks were shipped. That rope was a pain.