My mom is 87 soon to be 88 and lives alone. She does not like being alone which I understand, but she's stressing me out. Suggestions?

Your mom needs more help than you are willing provide and she isn't being rational about the situation. If she doesn't have cognitive impairment and no one has PoA for her I'm not sure what your options are except to stop orbiting around her as much and deciding what you and your brother are willing to do AND let her know what will happen if she doesn't get on board with it. What is her financial condition? If you keep reiterating what the options are and don't enable her, she may eventually come around to accepting some changes to her care. When she sees the earth didn't stop spinning, she may be open to more changes that are helpful to her. She maybe even like some of the changes. Good luck!

Same with my client; took awhile, but now she feels accepted, has a friend (memory challenged, too, but they do fine together), and participates....

Assisted Living, just placed my 94 yo mother in one, she has been there 2 months and she loves it, she has made new friends, attends activities and so on!

Research assisted living places. Next time she tells you she doesn’t like living alone tell her she has two choices. Look at assisted living or remain alone. There are no other options.

So your mother is intent on killing herself yet expects you to take care of her while she does it, smoking with COPD and a lung cancer survivor (so far)? Ridiculous! People have children because they WANT to, not so they can be servants or care givers in their old age, let's face it. A big fat guilt trip isn't the way to go here, mother, so please cut it out immediately.

I suggest you try and find an Assisted Living community for your mother......one that permits smoking (which would have to be outside, of course) so she can pay others to care for her. If she refuses to leave her house and go to an ALF, then wish her well and continue as you have been........taking her to doctor appointments, AS YOU ARE ABLE. And wait for The Event that happens which gets her an ambulance ride to the hospital, then rehab. When rehab refuses to allow her to return to independent living, then she will HAVE to be placed, even if it's in a nursing home with Medicaid paying for it.

That's the way it goes. It can happen the easy way or the hard way, it's up to her. But you will NOT be moving her into your home.

She chooses to live alone. She could look into Independent Living, going to a seniors group etc.

You are not responsible for entertaining her.

Why do most people feel it is solely the daughter’s responsibility to be the caregiver? This is so common with parents and brothers. Infuriating to me.

It should be everyone sharing or the parent should be placed in a facility. Bottom line, too much for one person, period!