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jamey178 Asked December 2019

What to do when a facility will not accept a member of your family?

What options do you have if Memory Care or a Nursing Home will not let a family member live in facility after they are assessed and found they are too combative. The family member has been diagnosed with vascular dementia. Any help is appreciated!

jamey178 Dec 2019
Thanks to the current posts I have received on this issue. I have taken ALL your advise and we hope to have our loved one in a facility soon. God bless this website!

NYDaughterInLaw Dec 2019
Most facilities are private pay and those that accept Medicaid can afford to be picky because their waiting list is a mile long. They are not going to accept a problematic patient, who does not "fit in" with the skill level of their staff and the other residents.

Get your family member medicated and re-evaluated in 2-3 months, once the medications have had a chance to work. If time is of the essence and you are at your wits end, take him or her to the ER and not accept discharge to home. Hospitals deal with this all the time and, fortunately, are in a stronger position than family to get a bed in a long-term facility.

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Ahmijoy Dec 2019
Who did the assessment? Has your family member had a neuro-psych evaluation? That might be helpful to determine if there might be a combination of drugs that might help your FM. If there is a social worker at the facility who might be able to help you?

AlvaDeer Dec 2019
Facilities can "cherry pick" and they do. They can refuse patients they feel are not a good fit, patients they are unable or unqualified to care for. This is horribly unfortunate, but it seems to be the case.

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