I’m 22 stopped working/attending college to take care of my 91 year old grandpa. I can’t seem to get paid at all through any insurance.

I think your grandfather and his child or children, if any are alive, are taking advantage of you. That money your grandfather worked so hard all his life to build up? The best use of it is to pay someone (for example, you) to take care of your grandfather now that he needs care.

People are generally not paid to look after family, unless the family member pays the caregiver out of pocket. How much more can you grandfather afford to pay you?

Me, I do not think it is wise for a 22 year old to put their future on hold to provide care. It is your grandfather's responsibility to arrange for his care, not yours.

Well he worked so hard to provide for his care, so you should not feel guilty about him paying you. It would be more expensive if he was paying a home or agency CGs

if he’s not medi-cal eligible then the only way you can be paid is if HE pays you. There is no other way in California. There’s no business that will pay you to take care of him, at no cost to him. Either way he’s gonna have to pay. If you became a CNA and got hired by an agency, he would have to pay the agency a lot more than $200 a month.

You need to get out there now and go live your life. Why aren't your parents taking care of him? If they can't then you should contact APS and have them deal with it. No matter how much you can get paid, it's not worth giving up your life at such a young age. Go live your life.

Blue49 - I apologize for being rude here. Your middle name must be SUCKER.

You volunteer to give up your life to help for FREE thinking it's a noble thing to do. NO, it's not. It's a dumb thing to do.

Grandpa paid you $200 out of guilt. OMG. OMG. He expects you to work 24/7 for free. And so does everyone else. And so did you. You did this to yourself. So, you need to get yourself out of it. Stop being a doormat.

Grandpa can live another 5-10 years. When he's gone, you'll be in late 20s or early 30s with no job, no marketable skills, no money, no home. You'll be lost in more ways than one.

Go back to school. Get a part time job. Taking care of grandpa is the job for his children to sort out. They can take turn taking care of him or they can pay someone to do it.

Stand up for yourself. Tell his children that you're done. You're done putting your life on hold. . If they gripe, tell them it's their turn or they can hire caregivers to do the job they expect you to do for free. How dare them going about their lives and giving you dirty looks when you bought a pair of shoes out of the meager money grandpa paid you.

From this point on, you should know you're being taken advantage of. If you don't stop, then it's on you. You can't blame anyone else.

Does your grandfather have any children? If so, how old are they? How is their health? If they are able bodied, why aren't THEY taking care of things?

Yes, yes, YES he should be paying you!
More than $200 I might add.
It is NOT wrong of you to expect to be paid.
You WILL need the money, especially IF there are aunts and uncles who will absolutely want their share of the inheritance and will think NOTHING of cutting you out, even though YOU have done all the care giving.

If you weren't ready, willing and able to care for him and there isn't anyone else able to, he would either be paying for an AL situation (or whatever level of care needed) or paying caregivers of some sort to come in and do it and it sounds like he would be doing that out of pocket based on his financial situation. He is very lucky to have a wonderful, caring grandchild to provide this service rather than strangers, it's a benefit to him and you shouldn't feel uncomfortable accepting pay for your time any more than he should resist paying you. In fact he would be better off (and so would you) having a care contract in place that spells out the payment and makes it a reasonable rate based on what he would have to pay someone else with your skills in the area because should he outlive his money and need to apply for Medicaid this money will be well counted for and well spent during any look back, if he is paying you even $200 out of pocket unofficially that will add up to amounts that could be problematic during any Medicaid process.

You will be doing him as well as yourself a favor by making this more official and earning more money. Your grandfather may be fretting over this, feeling guilty, more than you realize and being able to pay you a decent wage will be a great relief for him. Save the money for school when you go back and he can feel good about contributing to that too, in fact maybe you could take some on-line classes or one or two classes a semester at school to keep your progress going, social contact with your peer group and some life outside of caring for granddad, my guess is this would make him very happy too, giving him the best of both worlds. You are so lucky to have each other but neither of you is served by only having the other.

I think its admirable that you have replied to so many offering suggestions. Unfortunately you continue to give excuses. Either you want to help yourself or won't. Most people don't really want to die prematurely. They want the pain that creates those feelings to go away. If you kill yourself in a sense you will have failed at life. You don't come across as a failure. This situation is very wrong but only you can put you first. The other family members will just have to figure it out. There is no point coming to this site and stating this situation,looking for help and then giving all the excuses even if they are the reality. Something will have to give. You have to decide your life has worth and value. Otherwise continue to accept the present situation and know it will lead you nowhere.

We believe in you. Many here have been in similar situations. We recognize that you are stronger than you think you are because we have supported others break away from abusive relationships. Your “family” will do everything they can to make you stay where you are. But you are stronger. You posted on this forum. You know that you want to change your life.

We believe in you. Make your plan. Look up gray stone technique and other ways to free yourself from their attempts to push you back down. This is your chance.

You have opened up to us. We appreciate your honesty. And, we believe you can change your circumstances. We have seen others do it. You can, too. Keep posting here and make your escape plan.