Why can't I simply take care of my own problems?

I just saw a TV show called Virgin River where a 30-year-old nurse who lost her husband left LA to go to the mountains of California and start over.

I want to do something like that every day.

My daughter died. The next day, my wife, insisting she had been murdered (no - accidental death - no idea where that came from), started screaming at me. I run terrible funerals, and had been terrible father, obviously. 4 weeks later, we were hit by a hurricane/flood, we were living in a Federal Disaster Area, and I spent the next two years trying to rebuild the property (my wife refused to help).

Then my wife abruptly left 3 years later, leaving me with our living kids, who found out from their aunt that she was never coming back. She cut them off for the most part, and never visited the kids.

While trying to juggle this, my sister went off her medicine, became psychotic, caused property damage, and my other sister took care of her after she got out of the psych hospital after a few weeks, finally placing her in a group home after 3 months that I found.

At which point my father was diagnosed with cancer; I did everything I could to save him, even using a contact from college who could get him into the best cancer hospital in the country in one day (they sent him right back - it was too late). I went to doctor's appointments, tried to get him to take his medicine, which the radiation treatment prevented him from swallowing, and tried to get him to allow a nurse to give him a daily IV which he refused, until he collapsed.

At which point, I took over the finances, because my mother's Alzheimer's had progressed. It took me 21 months to go through it all, and during that time, my withered and died painfully.

My well sister has been also strung out, as we try to keep my mother in her home (she lives 2 hours away, and we have aides helping 8-12 hours a day).

I've been told that most families have some odd goings-on that they don't talk about, and family members with problems that are never discussed (my brother lives in the mountains 2,000 miles away, comes home and blows his stack, often immediately, and then returns to the mountains - he hasn't helped, nor has he worked since he served 4 years in prison in a foreign country 10 years ago). I also have a son with a severe learning disability, although he just graduated from college - I had to drag him through and rescue.

I'd like to rebuild my life, but this family gets in my way (my mother is nice, but I'd really not like to be setting up trusts for my sister and dealing with estates and going through thousands of pieces of paper, arguing with banks, lawyers and mental health professionals, among other things).

I've never had time to grieve my daughter or my father. Someone told me that I have instead had to be caretaker and taskmaster for the last 8 years (ever try to reason with a psychotic?).

Does this sound normal - if you're reading this, you're a caretaker - or is my family in the weird 1%?