How can I find someone to go check on my mother-in-law in an assisted home in Buffalo NY? My husband and I believe she is being neglected.

If she was a member of a church or community group you might be able to seek someone to check on her.

Maybe your MIL needs a higher level of care now? If she’s not in memory care, she probably she should be. Regular AL is just that—it’s assisted. Its not full time round the clock care. And like said, you need to take everything she says with a grain of salt. They aren’t trying to kill her. I actually think your husband at the very least ought to get on a plane and go see her himself if he is so concerned.

You can call NY state Ombudsman and ask them to investigate. Maybe APS in her county.

Like said someone suffering from a Dementia is in their own little world. She could have been given her meds and forgotten. Food and drink the same thing. If Mom is on Medicaid or may need it in the near future, be aware that Medicaid does not go over state lines.

The fact that she has Dementia I would take with a very large grain of salt her report that they are trying to kill her.
If she is not taking her medication the facility SHOULD report that to you, there should be a care plan meeting I would think at least 1 time a month. (I might be wrong they may be less often)
You could hire a Geriatric Care Manager that would normally coordinate appointments and go with her to various appointments. Since this does not seem to be an issue the Care Manager could check in on her once a week and report to you.
You could also ask about hiring a "caregiver" that would come in once a week to check on her, see that she is doing well and the caregiver could spend a little time with her.
If mom qualifies for Hospice there would be a Nurse that would come in once a week, a CNA that would come in a few times a week, generally 2 times. they would give mom a bath, check supplies and you would be able to see the notes from the nurse and CNA. Some Hospice are using a program called Tapcloud and you can see easily on your phone how things are going and if you have any concerns you can address them right away. And with Hospice you could request a Volunteer to come in 1 time a week to check on mom in addition to the visits she gets from the Nurse, CNA, Social Worker, Chaplain.