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Lizardguts Asked December 2019

Are there any programs that can help myself and my daughter? I am a senior and my disabled daughter's caregiver.

I am 70 years old and I am my disabled daughter’s caregiver. My daughter is an amputee, has an immune disorder and also suffers from severe depression. She sleeps all day and night. I’m old and suffer from COPD, fibromyalgia and more. I have to do everything...cooking, cleaning,washing,yard work, and grocery shopping. I have severe pain especially when standing and trying to cook. I have lost both of my sons, and my husband. I have no other family. I try to keep moving even though my depression overwhelms me as well. My daughter and I see both a psychiatrist and a psychologist. I worry because I know that even now, I’m barely able to to keep up. My daughter is suicidal. I worry about her now and I worry about what she will do when her son goes to college. He stays with us every other week. She tries to appear better than she really is while he’s here. Any suggestions would be so helpful. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to lose my last and only child. Please help us.

anonymous972110 Dec 2019
If you’re daughter is suicidal I would ask her psychiatrist about getting her an in hospital program for intensive therapy and medication management.

JoAnn29 Dec 2019
Is your daughter on SS Disability? If so, she gets Medicare/Medicaid? Medicaid offers homecare. There is meals for wheels. Call your Office of Aging and see if there are any resources you can take advantage of.

If you own a home, maybe its time too sell it. Find a nice 2 bedroom apt. All u do is pay rent electric and cable. Take the proceeds and use them to offset costs of the apt. if u need to. Some grocery chains will deliver groceries.

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againx100 Dec 2019
Very difficult. Sounds like you're doing way too much. Sounds like you both really need some outside assistance.

NeedHelpWithMom Dec 2019
Your story is heartbreaking. I am so sorry. Can your doctor recommend a social worker for you to speak with regarding help?

I don’t see how you can keep up this pace. I realize that you love your daughter. I’m so sorry for the loss of your other family members.

What would be your choice regarding this matter? What are your hopes, dreams or wishes? Do you have any ideas that you would like to see implemented? What is feasible regarding caring for your daughter? Would you rather be living alone?

I am not trying to pry. Just trying to get to know you and what may be suitable for your situation.

All the best for you and your daughter. Hugs!

Geaton777 Dec 2019
I'm so sorry for your difficult situation...it would be helpful if you could provide more info, like what state you live in. Have you contacted social services? Your daughter is an adult and you can tell them she is vulnerable and that her care and mental state is overwhelming you. Also, if you are part of a faith community (like a church etc) or even if you're not, you can call the pastor or main office of a church local to you and ask if they have a nursing or care ministry and tell them your dilemma to see if they'd be willing to provide at least some temporary help. My little church has helped many who were not attenders. Also contact your area's Council on Aging as they have lots of resources to point you towards. Praying for lots of long-term help and solutions for you and your daughter, and peace and hope in your hearts.

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