How to help your loved one remember tasks?

In the early and mid stages when you will still leave your husband alone in the home at times, I suggest you post some critical information (like your address) somewhere in your home. I printed a "sign" in large heavy font "Our Address" followed by the street address and posted it on the wall in my mother's bedroom and inside the front door. If you husband ever needs to call for help, they may need to ask the address and under stress he may not be able to remember. I also got into the habit of writing my mother a note telling her where I was going and when I would be back.

I posted my mother's cell phone number in her room, along with directions for calling me using her cell phone and a list of other numbers she might want. Mom was never a big cell phone user even before she had memory issues and never used the phone contact list; she would just dial numbers from memory or her written list and press "talk". Posting this information early in the memory loss progression can help instill a habit of looking for needed information on the wall that's very useful later when memory deficits are larger.

Mom didn't get/understand security system panic buttons very well either, so I got the larger button sized one (instead of the small pendant) and added a "HELP" label. Basically, anything you can use to build a bridge into past habits usually works better than anything completely new. When Mom had her joint replacement surgeries 20 years ago there were "help" buttons in the rehab bath and room, so she quickly adapted to HELP buttons her the bath and bedroom. As long as I can remember, Mom listed important appointments on a wall calendar so she still keeps up with the day and when she has adult day care or doctor's appointments on the calendar now.

Clear storage containers for everything from fridge leftovers to dresser top storage help so your husband can see where stuff is instead of needing to remember. My father (with vascular dementia) had a wooden box on his dresser he was accustomed to putting his pocket contents in overnight. At one point, we replaced it with a clear plastic storage box so he could see the contents when he could no longer consistently remember his keys were in the wooden box. Although Dad's memory remained largely in tact through the advanced stage, he had the devil of a time keeping up with his key ring (house, garage, out buildings, car for a while) fairly early in his progression.

Executive function loss is one of the 1st signs of dementia. Being able to prioritize activities is an executive function and my personal experience is that you are dealing with an altered reality because of their broken brain.

He can not help his abilities any longer, so you are going to have to adjust your expectations. Things that you need done by him, you will have to direct him and probably prompt him and even help him with the steps.

This is a frustrating, heartbreaking disease that truly affects the entire family. I hope that you can find the best way to change your expectations of your dear husband, he is not the same man that you married.

I would get a wall-mounted dry erase whiteboard with reminders. There are special ones for dementia sufferers.

Can an Amazon Echo hold that much undone chores info?
And repeat the reminder 3 times?
I can.

What about setting up reminders on something like an amazon echo?
(disclaimer: I know nothing about this kind of tech, anybody else care to comment?)

For my mother with MCI and short term memory problems but no dementia, we used daily checklists. A large printed list with a box to check off and tasks in separate sections based on timing and placed on the dining room table where my mother liked to sit and read during her day. "Morning" tasks included brush teeth and take morning medications; "Day" tasks like empty bedroom trash and eat lunch; "Evening" had wash up, brush teeth, take evening medications. Mom didn't really need all the tasks on the check list, but adding stuff she still did on her own into the list of things (like taking medications) she didn't always do on her own helped. I also added labels to my cabinets after she moved in with me: cups, plates, trash, cereal, etc, and started setting fruit and other snack on the counter where Mom could see it.

Since her fall in 2018 and my retirement, we don't need the lists anymore because Mom needs some assistance in the morning and evening routines and I'm here to eat lunch with her. If your husband has dementia, he may not be able to adapt to the list no matter how clear or easy to see/read you can make it.

My step mother is like that too, a to do list means nothing to her, she can't focus or organize her thoughts anymore. It is the disease that has taken over their minds.

What you have described is one of the first things that happen in early stage of Dementia. His short term is going or gone. He can no longer organize. Like a child he wants things done now. He is not going to remember instructions from one day to the next. And this will get worse. At a point, he should not be alone.

The honey-do list has gone by the wayside already.
I have to work with my hubs or at least start the project/chore.
Then just a bit of encouragement or supervision is usually helpful.
There are days when I just let it go.

Not sure there is a real "system", because my own hubs is changeable, both in function and in attitude. There are times when he is amazing at what he can and does do.

He will not remember to look at your notes, then he won't remember how to do the tasks. The best way to reduce your disappointment and frustration is to lower your expectations. He is just not able to do these things. There will come a point that even with constant coaching and step-by-step instruction he still will not be able to even begin the task. No amount of brain exercising will cure or solve the disease in his brain.

Alg; I'm sorry that you feel you didn't get good feedback when you posted last; we aim to be helpful here!

So, you mention "prioritizing". Being able to prioritize is part of what is termed "executive functioning". In my experience with my mom and other family members with dementia and MCI, this is the first thing to "go".

Are you expecting him to complete tasks while you are not there to cue him? That may not be possible any longer.

I'm not sure you can.  I've not had good luck with much tried thus far; I'll check back to see if others have.

They seem to only be able to do whatever it is 'while being told to do whatever,' right then, not later, like recall you telling them to do it or on a list which usually winds up lost.  You may get him to do a few things most of the time like 'put your keys here,' and make a place for those, but it won't always work. 

A phone may not be a good idea whether he was a big phone person or not.  He'll likely lose it, and other times not know where it is, how to operate it, etc.  Another headache you don't need.

If he is not a big phone person, then unless he is very highly motivated he is not going to start now.

What sort of tasks are we talking about? Where is he, usually, when they need to be done?