My mother is in a memory care unit. They are telling us we may need to hire a sitter to be with her. Does anyone have experience with this?

Needing additional care was the reason for hiring an attendant when Dad came back from the hospital. Changes to routine are difficult for advanced dementia patients and extra attention for the first few days back seemed reasonable to me. We also paid extra fees for "transitional" care when he first entered the MC. My father had some aggressive behaviors that thankfully diminished when he started taking his medications as the doctors prescribed, but one reason I was willing to pay for the extra transitional attention is I didn't want him doing anything that would get him kicked out.

If the MC is requesting this for a limited time frame, I would be inclined to agree. If it's viewed as a long term need, then you may need to reevaluate based on costs and other care options available.

kristenNC, my dad's non-profit memory care facility was the best one I could find close to me. It was strictly private pay at about $6,000 per month with a 6 to 1 resident to CNA ratio. While he was there I observed that several residents were required to have their own supplemental aides. Other residents, whose care needs consistently exceeded what could normally be provided with the resident to staff ratio and whose families could not provide sufficient supplemental care, were required to move out of the facility, ideally to a skilled nursing facility, but sometimes to just another memory care facility with a lower quality of care standard, and sometimes back to full-time family care. As my dad's condition worsened and even though I assisted him for 2 or 3 hours every day for a year and a half, I was eventually asked to either provide 24-hour assistance or move him, but he died before I was able to do that. Best wishes for you and both of your parents -- this is a hard time of your lives.

I would ask for a meeting to review specific behaviors and incidents which have occurred in order for them to make such a request. Have you discussed and/or considered medication review/adjustments? I would have been very reluctant to grant such a request from my Mom's memory care facility, especially if this is a private-pay Memory Care facility. I was already paying $4,300 per month for her care, and certainly wouldn't have been willing to fork over more money for around-the-clock sitting services. In my experience, the sitter will be paid about minimum wage to sit and play on her phone for her entire shift, and then if her replacement doesn't show up on time, you're in a real pickle, because you or another suitable family member will be expected to step up. Just some things to consider.

We hired a sitter/extra aid for my father in MC several times, mostly when he was transiting back into MC following a hospital visit and/or when he needed more attention for his CHF. I think the longest period was a week, most were 3-4 days at a time.