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Aggiedoran Asked January 2020

My husband is starting to hallucinate, do I tell him this is part of dementia? What should I say to him?

How do I handle this?

Shell38314 Jan 2020
It really serves no purpose to tell DH that he is hallucinating. To him the hallucinations are very real. My mother has hallucinations about someone knocking on her bedroom door at times. She will come into my bedroom (seems to happen at night) and tell me someone is knocking on her door and she won't let them in. I tell her that it is God and she will smile and say, "oh, God can come in." Then she goes back to her room. She has also stated that she sees people. I have asked her if she is scared of these people? She tells me "no," therefore, I tell her just let them be and they will let her be. She seems to be satisfy with that answer.

I have found that it is much easier to go along with it then to argue that it is not real. As long as your DH is not afraid of what he is experiencing then just go with it. I would however tell his Dr what is going on because there is medication that can help.

I know this is probably very difficult for you, but you can not bring your husband into your reality. You must go into his. Remember your husband's brain is broken.

I am sorry that you and your husband has to experience this awful disease.
Aggiedoran Jan 2020
Thank you so much! It’s comforting to have someone who has been through this to communicate with. Again thanks!
gladimhere Jan 2020
Contact his doctor, there are meds that can helping with that. Or they could be caused by a UTI.

Don't try to explain that he is seeing things. Go along with him. Remember you cannot explain or reason with dementia. Better that you step into his world or try to redirect.
Aggiedoran Jan 2020
He also has been having headaches. He never has headaches. Thanks for information.

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sunshinelife Jan 2020
Please check the side effects of the meds he is currently on. There are common side effects and rare side effects. The symptoms you are describing are common to psych meds used for dementia. Particularly when there is a combination of medications. I would suggest you give him as little medication as possible. ALL meds have side effects...and a cumulative toxic effect on the body. A simple ginger tea...a few slices or 1tspn grated raw ginger..pour boiling distilled water on top. Cover, let sit a few minutes. Add a teaspoon of raw honey, a slice of raw lemon if preferred...and have your husband sip on it. This will warm the body in a very short period of time, with no side effects. Another helpful hint is a good sprinle of cayenne pepper added to loose cotton sox...and gloves if needed. Then have your husband put them on. This will improve the circulation & also warm him up
You can add the cayenne to lotion if its easier & rub this into the extremities.
Highly effective and all natural.
Headaches: check side effects again....give plenty of distilled water as dehydration causes headaches. As does constipation. A good feed of soaked prunes as a night snack every 2nd or 3rd night with help with regularity. And prunes contain a salt that strengthens the nerves.
Finally, the neck being a little out of alignment can cause headaches. A massage & stretch of the neck, going into the lower skull can be very helpful
I would suggest you do the above for your self also. Your health is your foundation.
You need to be there for yourself first. So you are able to be there for your dear husband. He is lucky to have you
sandy1955 Jan 2020
Please do not stop any meds until talking to his physician. Stopping meds abruptly can cause more problems. Also discuss any natural supplements with doctor before starting them.
RayLinStephens Jan 2020
When my DH started to hallucinate - I called his primary physician. We were told to stop the Benydryl he was taking for itching and it stopped his hallucinations.

I said nothing to my DH - he didn't know he was hallucinating. Rather than upset him, a call to the doctor fixed our problem overnight. It seems that Benydryl causes hallucinations in the elderly.

Call the doctor and the doctor will review the medications your DH is taking and the doctor will make the call about changing any medications.

BillsLiz Jan 2020
Aggie, first let me say that I’m very sorry that you or anyone else has to go down this road. Our country needs to wake up to this epidemic. My 12 year journey ended on July 4 at 8:00am. Now I want to help others so they may have an easier time than I did.

First, find a support group. This website is a good start. Support groups are not all the same. Look for one that meets your needs. If you are in a small community without much choice, change the one have. My support group has become very proactive. None of us are “poor me” types. We find many people travel to our group because we want and have answers.

Bill’s hallucinations are now, and always were, a source of humor for all my friends and family. If it’s not a medicinal issue, the best thing you can do is play along, as long as they are not troubling to him. You can’t change his mind. He sees them. Bill’s most common two were 1) the ladies who were outside the bedroom window approving or disapproving of what I dressed him in (I asked each day what they thought), and 2) all the children who would stop him to ask about sex when he was out walking the dogs. You have to find the things to laugh at. At first it was shocking and then I welcomed the “old ladies” and the children into our lives. I’d ask him what they said. He calmed down about his hallucinations and delusions after that. It just became part of our day.

I didn’t always know if what he was saying was real or not so I just treated it like it was. Later, when nothing he said was real, the whole family had learned to just go with the flow.

Tell your doctor. Research if there’s a cause. Get help for yourself. You MUST give to the caregiver so the caregiver has something to give to the cared for.

Grandma1954 Jan 2020
Are the hallucinations scary to him?
And what type of dementia does he have and how far has it progressed?
Hallucinations are common with LBD or Lewy Body Dementia this form of dementia has aspects of Parkinson's and or Parkinson's is diagnosed with the dementia.
There are medications that can help have you discussed the hallucinations with his doctor?
If he has not been diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia and the doctor just diagnosed "dementia" it is important to get an accurate diagnosis particularly with LBD.
Getting back to the hallucinations if they do not frighten him I would not worry about them. Example, if he sees a dog sitting on the couch ask him about the dog and what it is doing. What kind of dog it is, what color things like that.
On the other hand if he "sees" a stranger in the house and he wants to protect you, him and your valuables and goes to get a knife from the kitchen...that is dangerous and frightening. You need to try to convince him there is no one there. Or tell him it is a friend, the meter reader, or a neighbor.
If he "sees" bugs on the wall and tries to get on a chair to kill them that is dangerous. As you can see it is important to discuss this with his doctor so that proper diagnosis is made and proper medications can be started.
Aggiedoran Jan 2020
From what I have read, it sounds like he has PCA dementia. It’s rare. He’s loosing his eye site and that makes it worse. He sees people with strange faces. He’s just now having hallucinations, should I let doctor know now or wait and see how often he has them? Last night he got so cold, he kept asking me if I had air condition on. I put 4 quilts on him, finally he got to sleep. There’s so much I need to learn, so I know what to do. Thanks for your information .
chill47 Jan 2020
UTI'S are a big culprit for hallucinations and delusions, so check this out first. It seems that my husband only hallucinates when he has UTI's.

Eyerishlass Jan 2020
If he's hallucinating he may not understand what you tell him, that what he's seeing/hearing isn't real. If he isn't lucid he most likely won't understand. When he hallucinates provide a calm and relaxing environment. Speak in calm voices. When someone hallucinates sometimes we expect them to snap out of it and come back to the here and now but it's much easier on the person if we go into their world where they are at that moment. I don't mean reinforcing the hallucinations and play-acting but sitting with the person and providing a calming presence to them. You can hold their hand or rub their back if they will tolerate it. Go and be with them where they are. Try not to ask a bunch of questions about the hallucination, just be there for him.

pamzimmrrt Jan 2020
My dad used to see men having a meeting at our dining room table, or ladies going up and down the stairs. Since they didn't scare him, we just told him it was OK. He was Ok with it.. if your dad is too, just roll with it.

chill47 Jan 2020
Aggie Doran, from what I have read, since the brain is broken, their body can't regulate its heat, they can get headaches as well as high blood pressure, so check his blood pressure. My husband has LBD, has constant UTI'S, hallucinates, has headaches and is always freezing (we live in San Antonio, Texas), but always wants the heater on and sleeps with several covers. The brain controls the whole body, so when it's malfunctioning, things are off at different intervals.

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