Here I am again, Dad digging in.

Marie, it is such a disappointment when family does not step in to help but it is their prerogative to make this choice, nothing says they are obligated to do anything. I think you need to now do what will help both you and your Dad and allow the county to have guardianship. We did this with my stepFIL. The guardians (Lutheran Brotherhood in MN) were very respectful to us and we carried on our relationship with him but LB guardians did not share any financial info (that access completely was cut off) and we had no say as to what facility he was placed in. We could visit as we pleased, we could bring him gifts, LB called and asked us about his personal preferences of food, music, etc. He will be safe and have care and you will have your life back. If your siblings don't like this option, too bad. They are welcomed to step in at any time but your "shift" is over. Blessings and rest to you!

“ I dont want to petition for Guardianship because I fear it would cause very bad hurt among everyone”. Huh? Whose feeling would be hurt? The siblings who don’t participate? Who cares about them. Dads feelings? Have you explained to him that Mom needs to get better care, and he may not like how that happens, but it will happen?
You cant go to the meeting with the goal of removing them...but you can go in with the goal of making sure Mom gets more care, and not by you. That’s the bottom line, however it happens. Make sure you have your ducks in a row with examples of her vulnerability at his hands. Please come back later and tell us how it went. Stay strong for her, you are her voice. Big hug

Well, Marie, you just can't continue as you have been. The 5 sibs who aren't coming to the meeting like things just as they are -- YOU doing all of the work!

Let the state have guardianship of your mother (is she to that point?). You've done enough, and now it's time for your own life. Realize that your sibs aren't going to change. The situation won't change unless YOU change.

Keep us updated, including what happens at the meeting with APS today.

My heart goes out to you. I have 5 siblings. All have been in constant care since dad went into nursing home. Even my sister who's schizophrenic has came in every day to see and take care of dad. That's what we're going thru. Getting Schizo sister to let go of taking care of dad. Good luck and hugs hugs and more hugs....

Being so many siblings I would push for state guardianship, thus taking you out of the loop.

It is interesting to me 6 siblings and only 1 feels the need to participate, many years ago the parents idea was to have a slew of children, so that when they needed to be cared for, the children would do it...not so much today....only a handful, like you, do anything.

I am of the opinion that your siblings will not take over the responsibility of monthly care giving and that this will lead to even more issues. Good Luck, hope that your meeting goes well.

Sorry to say..you cannot force anyone (siblings or other) to care for their parents. After asking for help from them and getting none, you need to understand that.

i would inform my siblings that what you are seeking is for the State to assume guardianship...and what that means is that none of them would have any say over what happens, and might not even be kept informed.

this is something you have to do because you cannot go on like this. This Burden on just you is beyond what one person can do....so, failing all else...you have to ask the State to step in.