My dad has early dementia & needs AL. He needs to sell the house to pay for it. He doesn’t feel he needs help so won’t sell. What do I do?

I agree we will have to wait

We had the same type problem with my mom. We had to wait for a major disaster to happen.

Unfortunately, as others have said, you may have to wait for an emergency where he has no choice. My mother is the same..I have to wait for something bad to happen, then she will have no choice. It is so difficult to deal with someone who has dementia... best wishes..

I imagine the complex business of selling a house & completing the paperwork to move to AL is a challenge - for anyone - before you add early dementia. I suspect he will need substantial support to get this done. So legal stuff needs to be in place as you may need to take this over.

It's easy to say no to the unknown, especially when familiar routines & places help ground people. I wonder if Dad had a few positive visits to the chosen AL, a few lunches, meets a few people, hopefully he could begin to feel some familiarity there?

Then he may be willing to sign some documents to make it all happen.

I had to wait until my mother had a slight stroke, then my brother & I sprung into action. We moved her to Fl and she is now in AL.

The irony is...she loves it. We will now sell her house as she needs those funds to pay for AL.

Eisle, you may have to do like some of us here and wait for a medical emergency.... then your Dad goes from home to the hospital to Rehab to Assisted Living/Memory Care.

That was the only way I could get my Mom into a place as she needed a village to help her.... and she had to take whatever bed was available. No choices.

Reasoning with someone with dementia, even early dementia, is pretty futile. This is going to need to be dad's idea, not yours.

In consultation with an eldercare attorney, dad might consider a reverse mortgage or a home equity loan to bridge him into care, if he agrees to go. Consider, however, the upfront costs of these financial transactions and only proceed with competent eldercare advisement.

Dad has NO other funds? No savings or retirement accounts?

Is your dad still driving? How old is he?

Do any of you children have Power of Attorney for dad? Has he been diagnosed with dementia?

Have you obtained a "needs assessment" from his doctor or the local Area Agency on Aging?

YOU guys telling dad he needs to be in AL probably won't work. Having his doctor or another professional do so might do the trick.

When my mom was beginning to need care, I started a stealth campaign to point out the inadequacies of her living situation. No sidewalks, no one home in the neighborhood during the day. No public transportation. Difficult access during snow and ice. Prone to flooding. Isolated.

You may need to wait for a hospitalization. Get him into rehab at a nice place that also has an AL attached.