Any advice on transitioning my 73 year old mom with dementia from rehab center to long term care?

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Impatch Asked January 2020

Any advice on transitioning my 73 year old mom with dementia from rehab center to long term care?

My mom had a ruptured ulcer a few months ago, has been in the hospital, transferred to a rehab center and is now needing long term care. My sister says she needs assisted living costing at least $3500 plus medical and food prep due to my moms level of care needed. My brother wants to take her home with him and do in home care. None of us really have a lot of money to pay medical bills on top of the medical bills already piling up. She does have Medicare, but my sister says that will only cover so much. So now, we’re kind of stuck and don’t know what to do next. Any advice?

Alzheimer's & Dementia Care Decisions Long Term Care Moving

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score 2 · Answer 1

I would ask brother if he's really up to it. Every situation is different. For some, a NH is the best option. For others, home care is the best way to go. It really depends on the situation. For my grandma, home care is really the only option. It has nothing to do with money, just survival.

Helpful Answer (2)

Thank you! I don’t know that he’s up for it. I think it’s more about the money

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score 3 · Answer 2

Sorry for your situation.

If she does not have 3500/month for AL, I think she might need to go into a nursing home.

I would lobby against brother taking her home. Can he REALLY be up for the task of taking care of her? I mean, of course, it is possible, lots of people, including men do it. But does he work full time? Does he have a family? Does the house have enough room for another person. Taking care of a sick parent is very difficult.

None of you should be paying for your mom's care. Not unless you're loaded and can easily spare the money.

Good luck figuring this out.

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my brother works full time but he has a daughter that might be willing to help. I’m not too excited about it, but if it meant she had a place to stay, it might be worth it. Now that I read that we shouldn’t be paying for anything, that helps. Thank you!

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score 2 · Answer 3

Follow Barb's advice. You don't pay out of your pocket, she pays from her resources and/or goes on Medicaid.

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Thanks

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score 2 · Answer 4

Mom's resources pay for mom's care.

Not YOUR resources.

Talk to the Social Worker at the rehab center about applying for Medicaid if she has no financial means to pay for long term care.

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