Cannot get 94 year old mother to take meds are do things to help herself. Any advice?

I suggest crushing some pills ,camouflage them in Applesauce or pudding..

Have you tried just acting like your sick? My grandma didn't want to take her meds so I would say " I don't feel good and need you to take them to help me feel better" I'd say 80-85% of the time it worked when she thought it was helping me. If she does want to die, explain that you want it peaceful and your just trying to figure out how to help her. I hope this helps a little, hang in there.

Pneumonia is how many older people pass.,, You have to decide what her quality of life will be like if she gets "better"., Maybe her stubbornness is her way of saying- let me be, let me go. I always tell my older folks, straight up- "if you don't do ........, this is going to end your life.". and It's 99 % of the time, pneumonia, untreated. They get to decide if they're going to the ER, or take the medicine. You DO HAVE A CHOICE. Nobody gets 'well' from being 94.

You have no other choice but to take her back to the ER if/when the cough worsens to the point she has a fever and/or you hear wheezing, indicating she may have developed pneumonia. Arguing with a demented person is akin to smashing your head against a cement wall........and it will give you just as bad a headache.

Allow your mother to live out the rest of her life on HER terms, I suppose. What kind of a 'life' is it with dementia, anyway? That's what I often wonder. I'm using the palliative care approach with my mother who will be 93 at the end of this month, because we've already saved her life around 4 or 5 times and she says she wants to die. She's had enough. I can't blame her.

Wishing you lots of good luck handing such a tough situation. My heart hurts for you.

Bama, so sorry you mom is unwell and it's stressing you out to try to give her proper care! Ahmijoy is correct that you will need to pick your battles with a dementia sufferer. I'm always concerned that caregivers who post on this forum are aware if their LO has all their legal ducks in a row, since if they don't it will not get any easier as their LO ages or becomes more ill. So: do you (or anyone) have durable PoA for your mother? Has she been formally diagnosed with dementia by a doctor? Thanks for the extra info if you can provide it.

Also, "sneakery" in these instances is not out of the question if it's in their best interest...can you sneak her meds into her food? Can you come up with a "therapeutic lie" about why she needs to take a hot shower or use nasal spray? I'm not a medical professional but if she seems to develop a fever she will need to go to Urgent Care or ER asap if she's still also coughing. Good luck!

Engaging in a battle of the wills with a person who suffers from dementia is darned near impossible, as you’ve discovered. Even if it negatively impacts her health and she gets worse, I would back off. If she crashes, take her back to the ER.