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DorezD16 Asked January 2020

My husband wants to move to a different nursing home. But I'm not sure what the process involves. Any suggestions how to get started?

My husband is in his 90's and showing signs of mental issues. But he hasn't been diagnosed with Dementia or anything like that. He's been in the nursing home for about three years. No major health problems so far, other than having to wear a urostomy pouch. He can't walk very well either. So he uses a wheelchair.

GardenArtist Jan 2020
Once you've accomplished the suggestions of the 3 who have posted already, start researching facilities.   Then visit them, especially at and after mealtime when aides are sometimes the busiest.   You'll also want to ask the staff what the patient:aide ratio is; that's critical, as if there aren't enough aides, your husband may have to wait for assistance even though he needs it right then and there.

Check menus, if residents have a choice of alternate foods, if there's a chef on site.   The best (at one time) facility I found offered menus as well as a la carte choices for patients.   The worst was affiliated with a hospital and served stale, inedible food.   Seriously.   I thought the fish was plaster from a wall.   It looked and felt like plaster and was completely inedible.

Speak with your husband as to what he wants, i.e., activities, library access, music, pet visits or resident pets, etc., and ask each facility when they have them.  Sample daily, weekly and monthly schedules are also helpful.  

Let him review the materials (including the typically glitzy brochures) so he can feel that the choice is primarily his (if you think that's important to him).

Ask him to list what he likes and dislikes about the current facility, especially why he's ready to move (he could be just tired of the same place).     A checklist of his preferences could help both of you decide on a good move.

Another factor would be future care, what other facilities might exist in the complex.   After years of caregiving, I found a community with step up facilities:  rehab, AL, IL and Palliative Care then Hospice.    When my father was too weak to rehab, he stayed right in the same facility but segued into Palliative Care.   Moving would have been unpleasant and probably unsafe, given his condition.

Alicew234 Jan 2020
Do you know where you would like him to go? You can tour the facility and speak with the admissions people. If he is private pay and he is not exhibiting troublesome behaviors, you shouldn't have too much trouble moving him.

If his nursing home stay is being paid for by Medicaid you may have less options but you certainly can ask the new facility if they have an open Medicaid bed and if they would accept him. If they say yes, they can guide you through the procedure. The first thing they will do is assess him to see if "they'll be able to meet his needs". I think that's code for "How much care will he require from us?"

In my opinion, it's hard on elderly people to be moved. But if you think he would be happier in another facility, you can start by touring them.

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Ahmijoy Jan 2020
You didn’t say what your husband’s “mental issues” are, but might they have anything to do with his wanting to move to a different nursing home? What reasons has he given for wanting to move? Are they valid? Do you visit him to make certain that if he is complaining about mistreatment it is (or isn't) happening? Do you feel that if you do move him he won’t want to move again and again? I think I might call a Care Conference with the staff of the NH and find out what’s going on.

TNtechie Jan 2020
If your husband self-pay, it's usually just a matter of finding the new LTC and asking their SWs to assist you in arranging your husband's move. The new LTC will probably want to send someone to see your husband and do a needs assessment to make sure they can handle his care. If Medicaid is funding your husband's care it's a bit more involved.

Why does your husband want to move? Sometimes people with early dementia express a general unhappiness with their living arrangements that is part of the disease and no move would actually make them happier.

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