Should I be paid for taking care of my mother with no help from anybody else?

You are not wrong. You deserve respect, gratitude, more pay, more time for yourself and your family, peace of mind, a glorious vacation, a bouquet of roses, an award, a million hugs and maybe even sainthood!

I’m so sorry for your frustration and pain. Take one step at the time until you figure out how to solve the huge challenge that you are facing at the moment. You sound worn out. It’s exhausting emotionally and physically to be a caregiver.

Dear Lucipadgett,

I do not want to hurt you, but you need to be realistic.
Most family caretakers do not get paid.
Even worse....at the end ……...you do not even get Thanked. The LO goes.....hopefully knowing that they could not swallow, walk, sit, or understand. They go confused, hopefully not in pain.
While they are alive, you changed them myriad times, you fed them, you were patient, you bathe them, you here...you there....you that....you over there.....non stop Darling.
Just know all this work is of the Lord. Give it to Him. Offer it to Him.

With all the help you give her, you don't have to feel bad about being paid. You aren't taking it for selfish reasons. You just need an income. Other wise, one gets resentful.

I'm a firm believer that family caregivers should be paid for the care they provide.

Could your mother live completely independently without any care? If not then without you she would need to pay for outside help, and I'm sure you know that it would cost her much more than $600/month. Not only are you providing a higher level of care than she might otherwise have available you are doing it for pennies on the dollar, why would you feel any guilt for that?

You feel bad that you get paid from your mother's money. I would tell your sister and other siblings if you have any to pay you from their money. If they won't you could say in that case you'd like to trade places and they can take care of her. As hard as it is we love our parents 💗

From your profile: "I am caring for my mother Ramina, who is 90 years old, living at home with age-related decline, alzheimer's / dementia, anxiety, depression, hearing loss, incontinence, mobility problems, sleep disorder, and vision problems."

You gave up your home to live with your mother to take care of her. From the description above of her issues, you must be one very busy caregiver! $600/MONTH is all that you get? Have you worked that out to the hourly figure? Is that all you're worth?

You write that you don't want your mother in a nursing home. What would happen if you became unable to take care of her? (Did you know that 30 - 40% of caregivers die before the one they take care of, closer to 40% if there is Alzheimer's?) Would your POA sister become the fulltime 24/7/365 caregiver? And what would happen to your son?

What is your mother's financial situation? Would she be eligible for Medicaid? Is is just you and a sister, or are there other siblings, also? Why do you think a nursing home wouldn't work out for your mother? Wouldn't that make things so much better for YOU?

Do you have retirement savings and/or a pension? Did you give up a job to go and live with your mother to become her fulltime caregiver?

YOU MATTER.

After reading your post I wonder if you are in a good position to be caring for your mom? You also seem torn between wanting to get paid and not using your mom's money. No one can tell you how to feel. Plenty of people get paid for caregiving and plenty don't. Everyone situation is different. Perhaps consider, with your sister's help, moving mom to a facility where she can be cared for by others and you can visit her as much as feels good for you. She will only age, requiring more care, as will you, and you will have to decide for yourself if that's a road you want to go down. best wishes

Lucipadgett, the vast majority of grown children who are caregivers to their parent(s) do not get paid.... unless the parent can pay you from her own savings account.

Since you are getting some money, make sure you create an employment contract. Reason for this is in case later down the road your Mom needs to apply for Medicaid [which is different from Medicare]. That way any salary given to you won't be considered "gifting" by Medicaid.
https://www.agingcare.com/documents/personal_care_agreement_AgingCare.pdf

Now, you can call your State Medicaid office to see what programs are available in your State. Most States do offer some type of payment for caregiving, but it varies from State to State. Don't be surprised if the salary is minimum wage for a few hours per week.

Sounds like you are on the verge of caregiving burnout, and believe me, no amount of money will cure that. You need to set boundaries. Do only what you can within reason. If your Mom needs more care then just you, then it is time to think about a senior facility where Mom would have 3 shifts of caregivers helping her. I realized this may not be what you wanted for Mom.