I’m Jeremy, I’m 32 and caring for my wife Cate 30. She was diagnosed with stage 3 brain cancer (astrocytoma) in January 2018. Has had 2 brain operations since. I just want to meet some other caregivers that are going through similar situations to help me get some insight. It doesn’t have to be brain cancer just anyone that is caring for a family member and understands what it is to be a caregiver for a loved one and how difficult it is. I’ve never felt so alone through this. I’m usually a upbeat happy goofy person but this has brought me to my all time low. Thanks for your time and I hope to hear from anyone. Jeremy.
16 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
You'll find plenty of people here also going through the roller coaster of caregiving. For me, sometimes it gets to the point where I think I'll going to pop. What gets me through it is knowing that I'll get through it. As bad as it seems in the moment, it will get better.
You might want to look for a caregiver support group in your area. Nothing beats in person face to face contact.
You might also want to see a therapist yourself. There's nothing wrong with seeking help.
And yes, caregiving is a lonely, soul sucking job. I was so miserable and felt so alone until I found this forum and discovered that there were so many others in similar situation.
I cared for my Alz. mother in my home for 2 years and those were the worst two years of my life. I was so stressed out, so burn out, so resentful, so angry all the time. I had no life, no vacations, no breaks, and little time for my husband and kids. It felt like there was no end to the stress.
I finally had to move my mother out and got help. So now, my mother is looked after by myself, my aunt, my brother, and two paid sitters. It takes 5 people to look after my mother. I still feel stressed out when I'm with her, but it's so much better than before. Now, I have time for my husband, my kids and myself.
Jeremy, you need to get help. You can't be the only person who looks after your wife. It is killing you slowly. Join a support group, ask others for available resources in your area. Take all the help you can get.
Also, come here and vent. It does help.
ADVERTISEMENT
Welcome to the forum. I am so sorry that you and your wife are going through this. I did care for my mom, dad and brother. My caregiving days are over now but I certainly know how heartbreaking, emotionally and physically exhausting it is. It is also extremely isolating.
You and your wife are so young. What an awful situation to be in. I am married for 41 years. I am 64. I can’t imagine what you are going through. It has to be the most devastating and challenging time of your life.
Do you have help in caring for your wife? Have you been able to have the emotional support of a therapist or a caregiver’s support group?
You are certainly welcome to join in our conversations. We are speaking about the elderly but I don’t see why there would be any objection to you being young and caring for your young wife.
Please vent anytime you would like to. Ask any questions that you have from either current or past caregivers like myself. I don’t want to pry and ask you to speak about anything that is uncomfortable. You lead the conversation. Will try to help as much as possible.
Sending a bazillion hugs your way 💗.
The people here are kind and truthful. They have helped me tremendously as I balance taking care of my children as they age and go off to college while I manage my mthr's care. Ask questions and listen.
Hugs!
Next - is there any way you can adopt your step daughter so that she is officially yours and you have rights to her?
I am so glad you are finding comfort knowing there are people through the web who are on your side and understand. <3
I spent a large part of my life working with clients who had severe brain injuries, and although the family members I’ve taken care of happen to have had other issues, mostly dementia, I still have great respect for all that take care of those who become caregivers via your situation.
First and most important- you are NOT alone, but I have observed that many people in your situation are stretched so thin, and are so exhausted by their circumstances, that they don’t have the time or ENERGY to seek out people in similar situations, as you have realized for yourself. You CAN voice and vent here, so do so.
We are glad you have found us.
won't feel alone. A big hug for you and your family.....