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Onlychild68 Asked January 2020

Mom has end stage MS, bedridden, constant UTI. Can't find anywhere that will take her. Any suggestions?

My mother is very demanding with her care. She is nasty to staff, causes problems and keeps getting kick out of places due to this. She is "actively dying" but really shows not to be. Running out of options worried that we might have to place in a state facilty.

bluefinspirit Jan 2020
My mom lives at home with 24/7 care, so I have exactly zero experience with IL, AL, MC, or SNFs. That being said, I cannot imagine a place I would want my mom to live where being "nasty to staff" is grounds for getting kicked out. I've seen my loving, 5' tall, 100 lb., church-going, ex-kindergarten-teacher, mom throw plates at her caregivers out of frustration.

Whatever the cause of your mom's outbursts, she needs to be somewhere with personnel trained to deal with such outbursts.

Countrymouse Jan 2020
Well, I'll ask again -

Do you actually have to move your mother? Have you been given notice by her current NH or something like that?

"Difficult" clients/patients are something training addresses, but it's a tricky subject. In what way is your mother nasty to staff? What problems is she causing?

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Onlychild68 Jan 2020
Thanks. I am contacting a lawyer to find out her rights. She has always been difficult. I've been there as a care giver and know it's hard but I feel those in the NH should be better trained and have a tougher skin. It just seems like many are quick to just kick her out and it puts more stress on family. They advertise support but we have yet to receive any.

Sendhelp Jan 2020
UTI presents with behavior problems in the elderly.
If you can have the UTI treated properly, and have her kept clean, her behaviors may improve. imo.

Was she always difficult, or does she have a mental illness? There is treatment for that. Have her seen by a geriatric psychiatrist. MS also has a high correlation with behavior issues (no offense to MS patients who do not have this). Not an expert.

Not sure that in a NH an outside caregiver can come in. But if your Mom did have a part-time caregiver, the focus on behaviors, a companion may help her feel supported.

I would go so far as to ask the doctor to order an infection control nurse to visit your Mom, concerning the constant UTI's. Then monitor to be sure the UTI's are cleared.

Contact the NH Ombudsman, bringing up the UTI's as a behavior issue.
The NH could be held accountable for this. imo. It may delay her discharge.
It is the NH responsibility to get her an appropriate discharge or transfer, imo.

Be strong, as an advocate for your Mom. Is there a Social Worker on her case?

cwillie Jan 2020
If she is truly end stage what about a hospice facility?

Countrymouse Jan 2020
Your profile states that your mother is currently in a Nursing Home. What's happened, do you really have to move her, you can't negotiate for her to stay put?

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