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Journey52 Asked January 2020

Parent (57) needs; unsure if he needs assisted living, rehab, nursing home?

Hello,


I have a father who is 57 yrs old. Long-story short he is an alcoholic who has type-1 diabetes and can no longer be looked after by my mother, who is also having her own issues.


I need to, in very quick turnaround, find out how to get him somewhere he can be looked after for the time being. He has almost zero assets as of now, he will be Medicaid pending (in TX). But he does have a pension worth $1,500 /month. My parents current rental home is about to become unavailable and they cannot stay there. Our family is fairly small and there is no one that can watch him, and give him the care he needs.


I believe if he got awhile from the alcohol, or was essentially forced by living in a facility, that he would be "healthy" enough that he could do an assisted living facility. But in his current state, I don't know if they would accept him? I straight up rehab facility, I don't know if they could handle his medical needs? Do I need to find a more hospital/healthcare oriented place for him initially to do rehab? I don't even know where to begin. I'd like to get him somewhere as nice as possible but I don't know if $1,500 and Medicaid pending will even do that. Or sliding scale fee. They have zero current income aside from that.


Thanks so much,


When he is not drinking, he can still move around a bit.

Midkid58 Jan 2020
Yep-if your dad remains an active alcoholic, he won't be accepted in any facility.

I have a very dear friend who just last year took over her father's 'rights' and she monitors all his money and gives him a small cash allowance. This was absolutely heartbreaking for her to do--her dad is only 60---but an alcoholic of 30+ years. He did try, but just cannot break free.

She sold his home and has him in a 55+ apartment and he can drink there, but it's conditional, if he messes up, he's out of there. So, I think he spends his little on alcohol and food. She's an only child and her mother passed 20 years ago.

I see the trauma that this is to this sweet girl and want to smack her father. He is LUCKY to have this wonderful girl in his life, even though he was furious she had the courts appoint her his guardian. She did work with a caseworker and social worker both.

His health is awful, she's amazed he's still alive, as his liver is ruined. But she was tough (I guess it was quite a process)..and he is living in a clean place and has someone caring for him. But it's not a NH facility and he will need that in not too many years. I don't know what she'll do then.

Daughterof1930 Jan 2020
You need a case worker or social worker to be involved in helping you find the right placement. They will be most familiar with what’s available in your father’s area and what the criteria are for each place. Call local nursing homes and the county health department and see what person or persons like this you can connect with. I wish you the best in this, such a hard road

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mstrbill Jan 2020
Hi Journey, you say your parent's rental is about to become unavailable? Why is that and where is your Mother going to live? Does you father have a county or state social worker or case manager involved? He may be able to go to a treatment program for his alcoholism but obviously he'd need to be agreeable to that. Is he in the loop with social services in the area? If so what do they suggest? If not, I think he needs to get a social worker involved.

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