How do you get someone to go to the doctors if they refuse? She(wife) has dementia/Alzheimer's symptoms but she stopped going to drs.

John, I'm glad you found this forum and hope you are too. I'm so sorry you and your wife are going through this at such a young age. My best friend's parents went through it also. You may need to hire in-home agency help to get her into the shower. Experienced agency attendants know a lot of ways to talk them, fib them into showering. And then you're not "the bad guy". I wish you much wisdom and peace in your heart as you make your way through and beyond.

John, you’ll find a lot of people in your same boat on here, with noncompliant loved ones. Sigh. One thing you’ll hear is using the “therapeutic fib”. Sometimes it might work to tell your LO that the doctor has called and they need to see her to as a requirement to renew her insurance. That may be a scary enough threat. I’m sorry you and she are going through this. Your wife is very young. You’ll get lots of good ideas on this forum.

If it makes you feel any better there are a lot of people who do go to the doctor and still don't have a diagnosis, I think that best you can do is take it one day at a time and deal with each problem as they come up. You could ask your agency on aging for a needs assessment for her to see if there is any help available to you.

When it comes to her clothes and bathing there are lots of tips and tricks but you might need to ask about each of those in separate posts. One idea - if she changes into night clothes then quickly gather up her daytime things and put them in the wash so she can't re-wear them.