When we have to leave the memory care facility, my mother wants to come with me, and asks why she can’t. What should I tell her?

I worked in a dementia specific aged care facility.
some of the families tell the residents things like you have to get clearance from the dr first, or they might get one staff member to redirect the resident why the other staff member let’s them out to leave depending on how aggressive they can be. Don’t feel bad if you need to lie, sometimes lying is better for them

I agree about redirecting. Also, you can say, maybe tomorrow. Therapeutic fib. That sometimes calms them. And then take them for a walk or to the dining room.

All the best

I would get mthr settled at her dinner table with the other ladies (eating time or not, this is where they socialize!). I would tell mthr that I needed to run to the restroom, and then if she spotted me going to the front door, I would tell her I had to go pick up the children at school, church, or whatever, and that I would get charged if I were late. That satisfied her. I've also used, "You have to stay here until you are stronger, and as soon as Dr. Xu says you can come home, we'll get you out of here. Until then, you need to keep up your walking."

Distraction works. We always tried to time our visits to end when it was time for the residents to go to the dining room for a meal. We'd take her to the dining room and get her situated at the table and if her other table mates weren't there yet, we would sit with her until they came. When they showed up finally, we could leave since many times it seemed she was happier with them than us!

“I’ll talk to the doctor and see if it’s ok with him/her, and maybe next time you can go.” Long explanations about how she has to stay where she is, etc. will not work and she will become upset. We call the doctor-story the “therapeutic fib”.