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anonymous1011646 Asked January 2020

I have a huge question in this so stay with me.

I have a huge question in this so stay with me. Ok, so first off I am married and have kids and everything but I also have my mother whom I care for being her caregiver. The house she lives in is next to us. So here is my issue I keep running into. My wife and I are looking into having a home built sometime this year its our first home, but as much as I love my other and hate to say this she can't live in the same house as us. Little about her. She is 67 and uses a cane. She does not make a whole lot of money at all somewere between 8-900. The town where we live is not a big town at all, it is a small farming town. There are only 1 set of apartments that are low income but have no openings, she just got put on the wait list. My question is, what can I do if there are no openings in this place? My wife and i have hit a huge wall in this conversation and than we stop talking about it. Any help at all would be greatfull. Thank you.

Isthisrealyreal Feb 2020
Have you considered an rv?

If you want her near with her own place they really are great for mobility challenged individuals. They are fully self contained and it is not terribly expensive to put an rv slab with sewer and water and electrical hookup.

I know people that live in snow country and have no problems. You have to do a few things to protect the pipes and make it more weatherproof, but much easier than other solutions.

You could even put her in an rv park and do those modifications for long term.

JoAnn29 Jan 2020
We need more info. Like asked, why can't Mom stay in the house? 67 is not old. Using a cane, no big deal. Is the 900 SS? I think she can apply for a Supplimental income (SSI). This is a State thing. Does she have medicaid healthcare? Maybe look into that as her supplimental to Medicare. Office of Aging may have resources she can use.
anonymous1011646 Feb 2020
I have 7 boys and no more room in my home. Im not say8ing shes kicked out or anything like that. the only thing she gets from the state is FS becasue she already gets SS.she does have medicaid yes.

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NYDaughterInLaw Jan 2020
She put herself on the wait list or you put her on the wait list for the apartments?

You may need to cast a wider net outside your farming town. If she qualifies in your town as low income she probably qualifies as low income in the county and state. How far is the nearest "big" city? What's the situation for old people there?

Another thing to look into at her age, is finding a widow with a huge house and empty nest and get your mother a living situation with someone her own age. It's like a real life Golden Girls with lease agreements and amenities clearly written out. Many older people are choosing to age in place but need income, and many like your mother can't afford to age in place on their own.
anonymous1011646 Feb 2020
The problem with that is that the closest town is 45 miles away and i am the only family she has close.
lealonnie1 Jan 2020
If she lives in her own home now, why can't she stay there when you move? Would that home have to be sold? If so, why not use the proceeds towards a bigger apartment that doesn't have a wait list?

I think you need to provide more details before we can try to give you a lucid answer with your situation!
anonymous1011646 Feb 2020
So here is a little more info. My wife and I rent from her parents and will not be happy when we get our house. Very long story. My mom rents the place next door to this place. My mom has bad anxiety and puts herself in seizures when she gets worked up. Idk if they are going to feel comfortable letting her stay there knowing her medical problems. does that all make sense?
97yroldmom Jan 2020
Being 67 and using a cane doesn’t sound like much of a problem on its own. What exactly are you doing for her? How much time are you spending taking care of her?
Are you subsidizing her income now?

I can’t tell from your post how building a house somewhere else besides next door to mom in this small town is a problem.

Do the two houses go together as in if you move out of yours, she has to move out of hers?

Good that you got her on the list. You might also contact your County Area Agency on Aging and ask them to do a needs assessment to see what services are available for her.
When I googled your city and state this link came up. Give them a call and see if they can help.

https://www.aaccw.org/contact-us/moses-lake-office/

CarlaCB Jan 2020
Not clear why she has to move at all.

Sendhelp Jan 2020
Shelter in place?

Purchase the house you are in, and mother's house?

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