How can I get my mother in law to pay attention to what we are asking her?

After being sick and in the hospital, it isn't uncommon to have a period of the mind getting back to normal. I've noticed that with my dad. But, it could be something else too. I'd report it to her doctor, so they are aware. They may want to do some cognitive tests to see what they reveal. Also, UTI can cause odd behavior too, as can deafness. But, regardless, I'd just be patient and get her attention on a need to know basis. If she's stirring for a long time, just let her stir. If she's not into listening to you, just let her do her own thing. Just make sure she's safe and not into something dangerous. Some people with cognitive decline are not able to comprehend, process or communicate. They are supervised and directed so they are safe. Perhaps, she'll get back to normal or the doctors will have an explanation. I would not yell at her, though.

Hi - your mil may or may not recover - her heart attack and stroke are very recent, but indicate vascular problems that could also be tied to dementia. Have you asked the OT/PT about her progress? I don't think there is anything you can do that will change her. You will need to change in the manner that you deal with her. I am sure not being able to get her attention is very frustrating. Has her hearing been tested? Would something visual work better than a sound cue - like write down on paper what you want to say to her, or just to get her attention? Or perhaps a touch on the shoulder or arm? Maybe the OT?PT has some ideas?

Hopefully she will regain at least some of the lost function. It is early yet, I think, Good luck! Let us know how you make out.

Dolly is right. You're now dealing with a brain that doesn't comprehend sometimes the most simple tasks. It IS frustrating, but once you realize that you probably cannot change a single thing about HER, you will feel better.

My MIL has recently been dxed with dementia, don't really know what stage, but this combined with her super anxious natural personality plus just being a mean person has left us with and angry, forgetful tactless old woman who hates EVERYBODY.

A screaming match with her (she did all the screaming) one month ago today had me telling her I would no longer be able to help her in any way, shape or form. I walked out of her house and left DH sitting there, alone and that's what she's getting from me for now on. Sound harsh? Yes, I could say, but she has run me into the ground for 44 years and I am DONE. I'm SO TIRED of dealing with her, and even when she was 'OK' she was no gem.

Just be kind to your MIL and don't expect her to be the same person she once was. Hopefully, her personality will remain sweet natured, if she was before. That I could handle.

Don't yell at her. That's just going to make YOU crazy and she's not going to register the 'effect' you are trying to achieve.

If she has dementia, you are fighting a losing battle. Has she been tested? If not, I would suggest that you take her to a Neurologist for a complete work up.

My step mother's dementia has just been confirmed as Front Temporal, she just sits there, stares out into space, and has OCD, your MIL might be in the same boat.