Right now I think you might be in the shock stage. You are trying to look at too big of a picture. You cannot face it all in one bite. And for those of us on the forum, we cannot give anything but sympathy to this question. So try to take a few breathes and then break it down. Right now, TODAY, what is the biggest problem? Do you have someone with physical problems or mental problems? Do you have POA in place for health care? What is needed? What kind of care is wanted? Help with cooking, cleaning, transit? Something other? Assisted living? Decisions about palliative care or hospice? Try to break it down into lists. What must be done first. You can only help with this one day at a time. I found in the beginning of our crisis a year ago that diaries helped, and lists. Things that had to be addressed. Hope you will come to us with specific answers so we can say more to you than just that we are so sorry this is happening in your life and we wish you every luck. That much is true. But hope we will find more specific ways to provide guidance even if that guidance comes down to "get to the doctor" or "get to the lawyer" or whatever. Best of luck.
Oh yes, many of us have been in seemingly hopeless situations. My mom has Parkinson’s disease which is a progressive neurological disorder without a cure. She’s 94 and suffering. It’s heartbreaking. I feel your pain. I cared for her for decades, 15 years in my home.
Before that I cared for my mom and dad together, mom with seizures and Parkinson’s and dad with bladder cancer, diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease and a stroke. Also cared for my brother with diabetes and liver disease.
Dad and brother are deceased. My mom is now with my brother and sister in law.
You are doing all you can and if you are like I was, it never feels like we are doing enough to help them but the truth is there usually isn’t any more that can be done to improve their situation.
I am so sorry you are struggling with this. I wish you the very best and post as often as you need to for support. That is what this forum is all about.
I remember when my dad was gravely ill. He was complete care and his needs were constant. It was about 10 days of hell with a constant stream of hospice staff, medical equipment deliveries and relatives that suddenly cared. I actually prayed for God to take him, to relieve his suffering and selfishly, to relieve my own. We got through it and I imagine there will be more bad days ahead.
Here, you are surrounded by others who have been through it and/or going through it now. There are no easy answers but you’ll find a wealth of wisdom and compassion on this forum. For me, the big thing was no longer feeling alone. Caregiving can be very isolating.
Don't be afraid to reach out for specific advice or even for emotional support. Sometimes it’s all any of us can offer.
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So try to take a few breathes and then break it down.
Right now, TODAY, what is the biggest problem? Do you have someone with physical problems or mental problems? Do you have POA in place for health care? What is needed? What kind of care is wanted? Help with cooking, cleaning, transit? Something other? Assisted living? Decisions about palliative care or hospice?
Try to break it down into lists. What must be done first. You can only help with this one day at a time. I found in the beginning of our crisis a year ago that diaries helped, and lists. Things that had to be addressed. Hope you will come to us with specific answers so we can say more to you than just that we are so sorry this is happening in your life and we wish you every luck. That much is true. But hope we will find more specific ways to provide guidance even if that guidance comes down to "get to the doctor" or "get to the lawyer" or whatever.
Best of luck.
Before that I cared for my mom and dad together, mom with seizures and Parkinson’s and dad with bladder cancer, diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease and a stroke. Also cared for my brother with diabetes and liver disease.
Dad and brother are deceased. My mom is now with my brother and sister in law.
You are doing all you can and if you are like I was, it never feels like we are doing enough to help them but the truth is there usually isn’t any more that can be done to improve their situation.
I am so sorry you are struggling with this. I wish you the very best and post as often as you need to for support. That is what this forum is all about.
Sending many hugs your way. 💗
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Here, you are surrounded by others who have been through it and/or going through it now. There are no easy answers but you’ll find a wealth of wisdom and compassion on this forum. For me, the big thing was no longer feeling alone. Caregiving can be very isolating.
Don't be afraid to reach out for specific advice or even for emotional support. Sometimes it’s all any of us can offer.