Can a POA restrict visitation to 2 days a week to a daughter that mom has been living with her 56 years and taken care while dementia?

I suggest if there is a meeting you tell them they need to set aside more than 15 min. My first care meeting I had questions to ask. But what happened is they brought in people I had never seen before and they preceded to tell me what they had been doing. When I tried to ask questions I was told there was another meeting. Each meeting was 15 min. I told them that the first meeting should be longer for questions.

POAs are not assigned in Wills. Because, POAs stop at time of death and the Executor takes over. There are separate papers made up for POAs. One for financial the other for medical. Your sister should have these copies.

I'm so sorry I didn't see your response to me earlier, Joan.

Your sister is wrong. It's very frustrating and upsetting, but she's only wrong - she's not being intentionally cruel or evil.

And, this is a long game. God willing, there will be ample time to continue to support your mother and improve her quality of life without doing anything drastic.

What your sister isn't allowing for is the importance of continuity in your mother's sense of wellbeing and security. When she remained at home, although there were new faces her environment hadn't changed and she felt secure in her familiar surroundings. I don't doubt that the time has come when she needs the structure of a memory care unit, but since her whole environment has changed then she needs that familiarity from something else. Possessions can help, and so of course can people if the people are working closely with the care team.

The "complete temporary break from family contact in order to speed adjustment" theory is common. I expect it even works sometimes, especially if the facility's staff are very good and the family is more of a hindrance than a help.

But complete means complete, and there is some logic behind the idea even if it makes no allowances for individuals. I'm not sure what your sister thinks infrequent visits will accomplish. I doubt if she is, either, beyond pulling a vague number out of a hat and thinking of it as a compromise.

Be patient. Go to your two visits per week and build a strong working relationship with the staff. Time will pass quickly, and as it goes on you will be better placed to argue for increased frequency, with the backing of your mother's care team.

POA has nothing to do with wills, by the way, except that people often do all the paperwork at the same time because it's convenient to "put their affairs in order." You seem sure that your sister is your mother's medical POA/health proxy? - very often this role is combined with welfare in general, such as decisions about where to live. Is there any way you can see her documentation?

Your sister has asked you to keep to this schedule while your mother settles into the nursing home, yes? And so far you have, but now you and your sister disagree about how often you should visit.

When you say "restrict visitation" - what is your sister planning to do about this? If this is just a difference of opinion between the two of you, isn't it a bit premature to be worrying about your "rights"?

I suggest you both have a meeting with a senior member of the care team at the nursing home and agree a schedule. If your mother's only been there for a few weeks she probably does still need to settle in, but the theory that she'll settle better with fewer visits is not always correct - it depends on the individual.

The transitions are very hard for everyone. Do not take it personally. It could easily be the facility is asking for visits to be limited, it happens very often.

And it is for you too. You need to work on getting your life going. You lived with mom for 56 years? It will be hard for you, no doubt. Any chance there may be some codependency? Seek a therapist to help you successfully transition to life without having to care for mom 24/7.

You did a good job and now you need to do a very good job of doing good things for you.

You can challenge the POA's actions in court. You can petition the court for guardianship. If your sister decides to fight it could turn into a big battle.

I have to ask. If you were your mom's caregiver for 10 years, why is your sister the POA?

Transition to what, hon. Is your Mom now in care in a nursing facility? It is often recommended that family stay away for a while for "adjustment" to occur. I am not certain if that is what is happening here. If your sister is her health care POA, then, yes, likely she has a right to comply and insist that YOU comply with what the nursing home is suggesting to help Mom adapt. For myself I have never seen that this whole "seperation" helps except with the most demented of patients. For those in early stages of dementia it often causes profound grief and confusion, but that is my opinion only.