I made an appointment with a neurologist for my mom but I’m almost positive that she will refuse to go. Any suggestions on how to tell her?

White lies are the best way to accomplish anything with someone suffering from dementia. They don't reason the way we do, so the best thing is what others have suggested -- it's required by a third party and has nothing to do with you.

Is the neurologist aware that your mother has not been informed about this appointment?

To go back a bit. Your mother was bereaved only two months ago after an extremely stressful and protracted period of care for your dying father. Are you sure that taking her to a neurologist is the right step at this point? Have you consulted anyone else?

You have my sympathies! My mother used to be extremely resistant to medical appointments, would argue, repeatedly question why, and generally get agitated or anxious, so I've learned a few tricks. 1) Very little advance time - I don't tell her about appointments until the day of or the night before, because if she does want to argue or fuss, I only have to cope for the one day. 2) Blame it on her primary doc - this is the best, because she likes and trusts him so she'll do what he says (only I really know if he said it or not, and I'm the only one who remembers anyway.) 3) Most important: When I'm doing the right thing for her care, I can't be afraid of her moods, her unhappiness, I just soldier on with my invisible soundproof earmuffs on because it's the right thing to do. She's never thrown a complete meltdown tantrum where she wouldn't get in the car, and her grumpiness won't injure me. One thing about my mom's dementia: Upsets blow over for her quickly, so I've learned to let things go, too; her hurt feelings don't last so mine shouldn't either.

My mother is 87. Same thing the news anchors talk to her and tell her that they are coming over to visit. Then she gets upset when they don't show up. We had our neurologist appt yesterday. I got great advice here when I asked the same question. I told her its the same thing we do every year for Medicare and if we don't she won't have insurance. She wasn't happy about going but she went because I told her she does it every year.

My mom is 87 years old and is not taking any medication. Unfortunately, her memory is getting worse every day. My dad, and her husband of 66 years, passed away in December after hospice care in their home. She was overwhelmed and overtired due to worrying about him. She started thinking that people were in her tv and that they were watching her. She wasn’t scared of them but it is really hard to deal with. The post about renewing the insurance is a good one and I’m pretty sure it will work. Thank you!

Tell her it's required for the new year & Medicare insurance renewal. Not open for discussion mother, can't fight city hall, right? LOL

Good luck!

Medicare requirement for continuing coverage.

Is she taking any meds? I told my mom she had to go to be assessed to see if her medications were having an impact mentally. She is very stubborn and strong willed, and it worked.