My mom refuses to go to the doctor or hospital. Do we need to get her to sign something saying she refuses medical care?

Tanyer, I would call local non-profit religious based hospices. They can help you navigate through this difficult time.

Tell your mom that this is for you. She may enjoy the chaplain services they offer and you will benefit from having someone help you navigate the dying process.

Her symptoms sound like my dads congestive heart failure. A diuretic can help get the fluids out of her tissue and putting her feet above her heart for 1/2 hour a day can help keep the swelling down. Laying on her back with pillows under her calves is the best way we found, and it is comfortable.

Great big warm hug! This is such a challenging time of life. May God give you strength and wisdom during this time.

Some people don't do doctors and hospitals - I'm one of them myself, mostly from bad experiences.... If I were in your mom's shoes, I'd find out what I absolutely had to do to get on hospice and do it - no more.

If she can refuse to go, the EMTs won't take her but...you will have a record that u tried to get her there. The only other way is if she becomes unconscious.

I'd call 911 and have her taken to the hospital where it can be determined how long she has to live, etc. Hospice can then be called in to be sure she's comfortable from now on. She doesn't need to 'want' to go the hospital, but she needs to at this point. She can sign a DNR form as well to say that she doesn't want CPR and no medical intervention to save her life.

Wishing you the best of luck at this difficult time.

Sounds like fluid is building in her legs and stomach and the increase in weight is from the fluid which is possibly heart failure. Please call 911 and insist they take her to the hospital. If she doesn't want treatment, that's fine, but a social worker at the hospital can get her connected with hospice and they can keep her comfortable. Heart failure can be painful.

What a difficult situation for you. I think you need to have a conversation with Mum’s doctor about what is happening with her.

She can request Palliative and or Hospice care which will ensure she is comfortable, but no interventions happen.

You need to confirm what will happen if she dies at home not on Hospice. I believe in many jurisdictions police will be involved in reporting the death. You do not want that. If she is on Hospice, you can call the doctor and funeral home and likely she will go from home to the funeral home.

I know when an uncle died of a heart attack, in his sleep 911 was called and police and ambulance attended. He went from his bed to the hospital morgue, to the funeral home.