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LoveMom2020 Asked February 2020

My mom has dementia she is very aggressive with me. She has hit me in the head, arms and stomach because she tries to run away.

Its only with me, my sister also lives with her but nothing happens to her. She is at work all day until about 5pm. I am the one that takes care of her more then her. I have tried everything. I have been called some ugly names. I love my mom but about now I am a little scared because she comes into my room at night. She just stands there until I wake up. I wanted to lock my bedroom bed at night but everyone said no that will make it worse. I really need some advice.

Grandma1954 Feb 2020
You need to protect yourself first and foremost.
If you are in a situation where she becomes violent you need to :
1. Make sure she is safe and can not harm herself or leave the house.
2. You need to remove yourself from the room at least until she calms down.
3. If she is not going to calm down you can call 911 and request transfer to the hospital as you are afraid she is going to hurt you and or herself.

Most important you need to look into placing her in a Memory Care facility where she can be cared for by people that have been trained.
BUT
If this is a new behavior this needs to be discussed with her doctor. There could be many reasons for a change in behavior from a "simple" UTI to a change in her diagnosis. LBD (Lewy Body Dementia) can cause the person to be violent at times and this will continue and may get worse.

By the way if you are not the only one in the house you could lock your door at night and let your sister take care of her but there is also the possibility that since you are the one that looks to for her care she will just bang on the door.

There are medications that can lessen her outbursts, lessen anxiety you might want to discuss this with her doctor.

Bottom line YOU are your first priority and YOU need to care and protect yourself.

rovana Feb 2020
Please, please protect yourself. Lock your door. How can you get a decent night's sleep, or any sleep, with worrying over what violent mom will do next?  She probably has access to knives, right?  Don't wait til tragedy strikes.  Frankly, I'd call the cops and report her every time she assaults you.  This should get a paper trail started that you may really need later. Is there any chance of getting her into care? Sounds like long past time with the violence.

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Monikalabadi Feb 2020
You need to go to your PCP to get meds for her. That disease has its ugly sides that you barely recognize the person that raised you. I went through similar things. I used to get panic attack because it happened multiple times during the night and am.

Getkicksonrte66 Feb 2020
She clearly needs mood stabilizer medication imo. Is she on any meds for dementia, or behavioral issues?

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