Give up the keys?

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Whynergal1 Asked February 2020

Give up the keys?

My 79 year old mother has been getting lost while driving, 3 times within the last 3 months. She has also called the police reporting that her car had been stolen only to find it in her carport. We have tried to get her to stop driving but will not give up her keys, saying she knows her area. The police only suggest us to contact the DMV for a retest. Any idea's on how to get mom's keys?

Age Related Decline Driving

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score 1 · Answer 1

Whynergal1, the most important thing for you to do first is to disable her car in some way: remove the battery if possible. She cannot be allowed to drive anymore as she may do more than just get lost. Can you enlist a neighbor or friend to distract her while you search for her keys? If you get them, remove the car from her property and do not return it or tell her where it is.

Next, you can anonymously report her online at the DMV website. They will write her a letter having her come in for a retest. No one should take her to this test. Her license will expire. The end.

It is no one else's responsibility to stop her from driving except you, since you are her daughter and KNOW she is no longer competent. My uncle went through a red light and was broadsided, killing his own wife and dog and injuring the other victims. Please act today to stop her. She will be angry, but the moral burden is unfortunately on you. Thanks for doing this, I know it's hard.

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score 1 · Answer 2

Okay so here is what you do,because the same thing happened to me.
If there are any police reports get copies. Contact her doctor or whoever diagnosed her with dementia and let them know what has happened. Tell them they need to contact the DMV with a doctor's letter stating that she either needs to retest or that her license should be taken away do to her medical condition. If she has to retest, trust me she will not pass. You need to find a way to get the keys away from her or disable the car. There are many ways to disable the car just Google it or YouTube it. Once the car is disabled you can tell her that there is no money to fix the car right now. In the meantime the DMV will be working on paperwork to either suspend her license or take it away. Be sure to follow up with this! It might take a month or two.

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We dont know who her doctor is, she has not been in years and she will not give us the doctors information. The police gave her a DMV reexamination notice and called my sister who lives close to her, told her she was given the notice. When my sister went to see her she asked my mother for the notice and my mother told her she did not get one. The DMV website says that jf the police issues a priority reexamination notice she must contact the DMV within 5 days or her license will be suspended. She did not recive a violation only the notice and we are not sure if it was a priority notice. We will contact police for copies of the report. Hopefully the wheels are already in motion with her license and will contact DMV to see if they are. She wont give up the keys we have tried numerous times and if we disable her car she has threatened to call the police on us and will call triple A to repair. At this point she still is of sound mind, episodes of confusion just beginning, hard to help her without her consent.

Big help thank you, Kris

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score 2 · Answer 3

Why are you ignoring the advice from the police? Sometimes hearing you can no longer drive from a person in a position of authority makes a difference.

once she has been told you can no longer drive, then you disable the car.

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Give up the keys?

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