Ex husband has stage 4 prostate cancer. He won't use a walker and his girlfriend and I have to lift him up from bed, etc. What should we do?
We help him get in bed, put socks and shoes on etc. It's in his bones and he has had 3 blood transfusions. He refuses to go to a home but were exhausted doing everything for him. What do you suggest we do?
I agree its time for Hospice. Being in home you won't get 24/7 care. The family does most of the work. You will get an aide for bathing. Depends, medication, durablevequipment and some other things.
I too commend you. I bet you have children with ex. You know what I would say, no walker, guess u stay in bed. He is a lucky man and should realize it. Does he have a hospital bed, if not Hospice will bring one in. They can now go to the floor. May help with easier transfers. The Nurse can show u the way to safely transfer. If he gives u a problem, tell him Hospice or a nursing home because you and GF can no longer do it all.
Definitely stop with the lifting of your ex. If you throw your back out, then where will you be??
What a big heart you have. Helping his girlfriend care for him? Hope it's not too awkward!
Agree with hospice eval.
As far as refusing to go to a home, that's not uncommon that he doesn't want to go (who would WANT to?) BUT he's therefore controlling both you fine ladies. That's kind of unfair, IMHO. Instead, at the very least, you really need to get a home health care worker of some sort in there to help out and give you some relief.
Wow! He's very fortunate to have two women caring for him. You must be a special lady. I'm sorry for his diagnosis and his suffering. Of course he's crabby. You need to look into Hospice. They are trained for this and you'll be amazed at how much support they can be for everyone involved. At the very least, the two of you should take turns taking a day off. It won't be easy, but it'll make the job of caregiving a little less stressful. Hugs 💙
Call hospice. If you don't know which hospice organisation to contact, your ex's oncology team should be able to advise about that.
If your ex has bone metastases, how is his pain being managed?
Meanwhile, you and girlfriend (I applaud your co-operation, by the way) need to stop lifting him unless you have the training and equipment to do it safely. In the very short term, can you get hold of a bedside commode? And a bedstick, so that he can pull himself up to a sitting position?
Also, look at your state's or county's website to see what services and resources are available.
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I too commend you. I bet you have children with ex. You know what I would say, no walker, guess u stay in bed. He is a lucky man and should realize it. Does he have a hospital bed, if not Hospice will bring one in. They can now go to the floor. May help with easier transfers. The Nurse can show u the way to safely transfer. If he gives u a problem, tell him Hospice or a nursing home because you and GF can no longer do it all.
What a big heart you have. Helping his girlfriend care for him? Hope it's not too awkward!
Agree with hospice eval.
As far as refusing to go to a home, that's not uncommon that he doesn't want to go (who would WANT to?) BUT he's therefore controlling both you fine ladies. That's kind of unfair, IMHO. Instead, at the very least, you really need to get a home health care worker of some sort in there to help out and give you some relief.
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If your ex has bone metastases, how is his pain being managed?
Meanwhile, you and girlfriend (I applaud your co-operation, by the way) need to stop lifting him unless you have the training and equipment to do it safely. In the very short term, can you get hold of a bedside commode? And a bedstick, so that he can pull himself up to a sitting position?
Also, look at your state's or county's website to see what services and resources are available.