Late last year, I told my Mom’s (82) Doctor that she still isn’t eating enough and losing more weight. She doesn’t do much but sit in her chair all day and watch TV and sleep. He suggested that she drinks Boost drinks. Much to my relief, she loves Boost and I was excited to find cases of 24 bottles at Sam’s club for $20 (sale price), but they’re back up to $25. I thought this was a great idea to supplement breakfast and lunch, but she’s going through a case in 4 days. Initially, a case would last a little over a week. As of today, a case of 24 only lasts 4 days, which means she drinks on average 6 bottles a day. While I’m excited this is working for her, she still isn’t gaining weight, but she doesn’t seem as weak or frail. The bigger issue for me is that this is an expensive solution and she is not eating prepared meals, except for when I bring them. She eats very little and leaves the leftovers to go to waste. She is essentially on a liquid diet. I have no idea how to get her to eat more food. I tried to cut back on the frequency of the Boost cases, but she’s going through them even faster now. Need suggestions as to how to figure out the best and most economic solution. Because of my persistence, she is now offering money. I told her I can’t afford to buy $25 cases every 4 days and don’t think she should spend money drinking that much Boost. Need suggestions and advice. Thank you!
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Then we discovered his blood sugar went way up. My husband is very good about gettng blood tests every month. Mainly because of Multiple Myoloma predisposition. But . .we both decided along with his GP . .to cut down on the sugars.
Now . . I'm into cooking . . fresh food dishes. For his health and I can work on my culinary skills!
Ensure . .Boost . . it's a good temporary patch if needed at certain times. But certainly not for long term food/nutrition consumption. All I'm saying is . .while she loves drinking the stuff . .her blood sugar is probably going through the roof. Not good.
Thats my take.
From my view, I see a loving daughter trying to keep her Mum happy, healthy & keep Mum's independance too but doing more & more. Hinting at getting more care/changing things but not wanting to upset.
I have been caught in this quicksand & suppose I had to, to learn the way out. What helped me was good old fashioned plain talking.
Some hard questions coming...
Is Boost the problem or just the tip of an iceberg?
If you zoomed out, way back - what's the whole iceberg (situation) look like? An elderly lady, living alone, not able to shop for herself, eat or drink properly, manage bills(?) or socialise.
If you broke your leg, could Mum look after herself? Could she arrange deliveries, collect medications, use taxis, get to appointments?
Is she really 'independant'?
My sister had a visit from Dept of Health. She told them "I live alone independantly".
After assessing her situation, the Rep said "You live alone *dependantly*. You are very dependant on your family. You cannot look after yourself. You need to move into supported accomodation". Not gentle or tactful - just plain talking.
Like a giagantic bandaid was just ripped off & we saw the wound for what is was.
I don't wish to cause you upset - but just some encouragement to get a real look at the bigger picture. (Like a diagnosis of the situation).
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I agree with those who have suggested that you find more nutritionally complete liquid nutrition that would be more like a meal. However, it may be a losing fight to try to cajole or force her to eat more solid food. Ultimately, the struggle will be yours, not hers, and you will probably lose.
I would suggest that you do make sure that she have good, soft foods available to her, like packaged macaroni and cheese and frozen scrambled eggs. Buy things that are real food, but soft. Another good option is little containers of cottage cheese with fruit. These things are not economical and they are not environmentally sensible (so much single use plastic!) but if they are present and easily available your mother may eat a little. Don't overbuy. For my mother, I buy just one or two of something, then check the refrigerator/freezer the next week to see if thy have disappeared. Usually they have not.
If there is nothing that you find that she willingly eats, you may have to reconcile yourself to the idea that her body is simply changing and her interest in the process of eating is failing. Take your time, spend time with her, try to enjoy what you can of her last year or two, and let the process work itself out. Try not to become obsessed with her eating. It will help neither of you.
When my husband's aunt, whom I loved as though she were my own, was in her final months I spent a lot of time in her hospice room. I arranged to work on my computer in her room several days per week (there are advantages to being a computer programmer). One day I was working in the corner and Aunt Dari's sister was by her side, offering her water, juice, applesauce, etc., etc., when Dari finally pushed her away and told me to please come over to her side. She glared at her sister, then looked at me and said, "She thinks that if she can force enough of that crap down my throat I won't die." Then she thought a bit about what she said and laughed. "I'll win this fight. You wait and see. I'll die anyway." Then she laughed again. I held her hand and we talked of times past, walking through Central Park, the flowers by the lake, all the good times. She passed about 4 weeks later.
There is no medical explanation that I have heard, but this happens so often that I think we should think about respecting the wishes and desires of those who are in their final years. The goal is not to keep them alive as long as possible, but to keep their life as good as possible as long as their bodies are willing to live.
If she is getting less frail and week I would be encouraging her to have 7 or 8 a day.
Sooo frustrating! The reason she lives this way as she lacks the cognition, attention & concentration to plan or cook proper meals.
Firstly, who buys the Boost? How often are you visiting? Could you deliver 7 for the week? Or of you live together, keep only 7 available (the rest hid).
Secondly, why are you paying? Doesn't your Mother pay for her own groceries?
Thirdly, she may have lost her hunger due to always being full (of Boost). Similar to how toddlers who fill up on milk don't eat enough solids.
Lastly, you can change what's in YOUR control: limit her access to more than 1 per day, arrange meals on wheels or other meal service a few times a week instead.
If she can phone order & pay & arrange delivery herself (like my sister) then you don't have much control except advising her & also her Doctor.
One last thing, does she KNOW she is having 6 a day? Is there short term memory problems at all?
Protein powders with fresh fruit, in a blender may be cheaper. One powder I found and Sprouts.. called Bio-Chem protein powder. I think that was the name. Anyway, High protein powder you can throw fruit, milk or soymilk, ice, blend it. Save it for the whole day.
Instant Pot, buy chicken boneless skinless, add a couple bouillon cubes for salt and flavor. That lasts almost a week, with 3 pets, and me. Feeds all of us. Cheaper than catfood. Although your mom is not a cat, just saying, she can sip on the broth for a dinner, or lunch. I usually grab a cup microwave it for breakfast while getting ready for work. Then she can make chicken salad sandwich with the meat.. It's easy.. Although, I forgot to put back in frig this morning.. So I had to go buy another package of chicken. I think I will try a different protein. I am getting tired of chicken..
up what we brought her. If I made grilled cheese while there, she would eat it but she would not think to microwave food we had labeled. Then she started nuking leftover coffee until it exploded all over the place. She refused to move, said she was not interested but thought it was fine to have my sister come twice a day to make her food, do her laundry and clean her house (my sister lived closer, but is single mom, 3 kids with full time job. We told her that is not going to happen and you have to move. Doctor said you cannot live along. She did move. So hopefully you can stop placating your mother, find a place she can afford and move her.
My dad was losing weight (especially around his shoulders) & I had to do something. Most of my dad's nutrition comes from shakes now. He will eat some oatmeal or fruit in the morning, but he gets 64 oz of liquid salad a day. He has no necessary meds(sleep aid, if needed) with excellent vitals.
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