Should we simply not visit or call mom in memory care because it upsets her so much? Staff say she is adjusting fairly. She has anosognosia.

My mom has anosognosia, involving both her mental/emotional health issues, and her dementia. She's simply unaware of any of her issues and thinks she's perfectly healthy, and a little forgetful time to time. After daily caring for her in her home (which she lately didn't recognize as her own) for almost a year, we moved her to memory care about 3 weeks ago. For the first 3 days she called us non-stop, begging us to come get her and take her home. Lots and lots of anger, drama "they are constructing my coffin here," and tears. Bargaining non-stop. It was really rough. I understand she was devastated..it's like ripping a bandaid off. Then she stopped calling, likely because she had packed up all her things, including the list of phone numbers we had left her.
We've gone to visit one time, and it was horrible. Raging anger. She even pulled the fire alarms after we had gone.
I've called her once since then and so has my brother, and it's the same thing, The anger has subsided some, and now its just a lot of tears and overwhelming sadness about how we deserted her and left her for dead, etc.
We just basically empathize and let her vent, and when she asks about going home, we just tell her she can't live there anymore. Over and over.
According to the activities director, mom is doing as well as anyone would hope. She's well within the normal range of the transfer trauma that happens. She even went out to lunch for an outing, which frankly shocked us.
At this point, we struggle with calling her or going to visit. We don't want to purposely upset her, especially if she's generally getting on okay. Nearly everything I read says how important it is to stay in touch with the one you've moved, but even though there's a part of her that misses us, the bigger part just wants to rage at us like we are all teenagers. We were hoping at one point to able to visit with her, and take her out from time to time. This doesn't seem at all possible; though it hasn't even been a month. One of the staff says it's possible she will remain angry at us for a very long time..which we can accept. And wouldn't be a surprise...mom tends to hold grudges forever and has always been a martyr.
Has anyone been through a similar situation?
Did you just not visit or call, or just call? With what frequency?
Did you just leave them to the staff to create a new life and not be involved?
Did it resolve after a period of time, or just stay that way until the dementia got worse and they forgot what they were mad about?