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Chacaretoomuch8 Asked March 2020

What kind of communication should I get someone who can’t talk in a nursing home?

My father had a really bad stroke that left him unable to talk. He can read a little I think. He can’t text or spell words anymore. The nurses have to dial my number because he can’t. So I took him to the store from the nursing home to get out for a little while which I normally do but he went in the store and grabbed a cellphone for me to buy it. I told him I might consider getting it at a later time. He got upset. He also have pointed to the phone pictures on his chart telling me he wants a phone. He’s been expressing for a cellphone for a little while. I had bought him a $200 tablet instead of a phone that I haven’t gave to him yet. I told him I got the tablet over the phone and it seem like he wasn’t happy that it wasn’t a phone because after I told him I got a tablet instead of a phone he hung up on me. I got the tablet so he can video chat with people because no one in my family is going to answer he calls if he calls. They don’t even visit him. They might do the video chat because they can look at him and try to understand what he’s saying. I’m considering taking it back because he doesn’t knows how to work electronics and if he comes up missing I’m out of $200. I normally show up every week and the nurses normally let him call me and I’d talk to him for a few minutes even though I can’t understand what he’s saying it’s just to make him feel good. He needs the nurses help to call me or change the channel on the tv etc. I guess I’m just looking for ideas. Should I just get a cheap phone to make him feel good? Should I just give him the tablet? Is there anything out here that is good for people who can’t talk or text and need assistance?

Gailbry Mar 2020
Have brother unable to figure out how to use phone after stroke. He has vascular also.dementia also. He, is however, able to speak....problem is with the nursing home....I can't get anyone to help him use the phone. I live 1,000 miles away and trying to care for him by sending him things I think he may like to no avail, he needs assistance and no one has the time to sit with him. At this time I am trying to relocate him to a long term care facility near me so I can oversee his care, as I feel he needs the personal touch of loved ones. He is autistic also , has no friends or family.

lealonnie1 Mar 2020
I guess I'm confused.......if your dad can't speak, dial a phone, text or spell words, what is he going to need a phone for? Just doesn't make sense to me.

If it makes sense to you to buy him a cell phone, you can get a pretty inexpensive used Samsung Galaxy 5 on eBay in the $30-65 range. Of course, the monthly service fee with a phone carrier is another story entirely.

https://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_from=R40&_nkw=samsung+galaxy+5&_sacat=0&_sop=15

Best of luck!

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Ohwow323 Mar 2020
I purchased the Grandpad from Consumer Cellular. It has a big screen. A charging dock so you do not need to hold it. It costs two hundred dollars and the monthly fee is about 45.00.If you are a member of AARP you get a monthly discount. Only authorized people are allowed to call it so no spam can get through. it also has games, and access to facebook. Basically like a cell phone but better! size is about 5"x7". large keys on the screen. See YouTube for a preview! specifically designed for the older techie! : )

TNtechie Mar 2020
Consumer Cellular offers a flip phone with larger keys and simple YES/NO menu responses. You open the phone and hear a dial tone, with the screen displaying "Contacts List?", there are hard keys labeled YES, NO not soft keys. There is also a 5 star key that with a service option connects to an real live assistant who can call people listed in the contacts list, do a daily wellness call, and several other things I cannot remember right now.

If you father can say Yes/No, then I suggest you contact consumer cellular and inquire if the 5 star service assistant can prompt your father for yes/nor responses. The phones are inexpensive (around $50, less during sale events) and basic monthly service is $25. If I remember correctly, the 5 star service is about $25 additional. Even if your father doesn't use the phone much, having it may give him some sense of control or normalcy (grown ups have phones).

Are your father's speech problems due to physical issues moving his lips and tongue or has his language center been damaged? When you say he cannot text or spell, I wonder if that's a language center problem that may never improve much or maybe a vision problem. Physical issues can normally be overcome with speech therapy and time to practice/heal.
Chacaretoomuch8 Mar 2020
@TnTech He can’t say any words.. He’s been unable to speak since last year of May. It’s like when he tries to talk it’s very gibberish and he says not one word.. He can nod his head or point to things and sometimes he gives me two different answers to questions I ask him when I’m not for sure what he’s trying to tell me. He suffered severe brain damage on his left side.. If I do get him a phone he’s going to need them to help him. He can’t even call my phone himself. When ask to sign or spell his name he will write numbers down.. I’m not even really sure if he can read I really don’t think he can.
Geaton777 Mar 2020
I guess a question for you is if your dad had or is having speech therapy? This may be a good motivator. I don't blame him for his frustration but agree with the other commenters that getting him a phone will just further frustrate him if he can't dial, remember how to use it or talk into it. I hope he will eventually come to peace with this.
NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2020
The nurses help him dial. It’s so hard seeing parents suffer. I feel for the OP. He wants to help. Isn’t sure how.
Countrymouse Mar 2020
The really honest answer is I think you might as well keep your money.

There are cellphones specially designed for people with visual impairments, and for elders who are technology novices. It might be worth having a look at some of those and seeing if anything fits the bill for your father.

But even supposing he has a gizmo for FaceTime or whatever, will the other family members or friends be able and willing to communicate with him? It is an effort, and if they're not prepared to put in the time or trouble and still don't pick up if they see his number... :(

I think what's good for people who can't talk or text and need assistance is what you're doing - turning up and giving him time.

Is he having any kind of speech therapy? Is he making any gradual progress still, since his stroke?

One more thought, though: if it's your father who's paying, then get him what he wants. And if you can, get a model you can resell for him if he just finds it more frustrating and can't use it.
Chacaretoomuch8 Mar 2020
Yes he gets speech therapy but no progress. He had a stroke back in May 2019 and he haven’t said one word.. He only have $50 of spending money. But it would be at my expense but I think you all are right. I was confused and undecided and really didn’t see the point but at the same time I wanted to give him what he wanted. But He’s just going to have to be mad at me.
NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2020
I am so sorry that you are going through this. I cared for my dad after his stroke. He had rehab first, then outpatient speech therapy three times a week afterwards. It’s so hard watching them struggle to speak. It’s humiliating for them.

Daddy learned to speak some afterwards but he mixed up his words often. Sometimes I could figure out what he was saying, sometimes I couldn’t. I do like the idea of pictures, anything that helps is useful.

Yeah, he isn’t familiar with a tablet. He is used to a phone. Not a bad idea to get an inexpensive phone, unless you feel like he could learn how to navigate using the tablet. Also, would the nursing staff help him use it?

You sound like a caring and loving son. I hope you find a solution soon. What does your father’s doctor say about his future?

Best wishes to you and your dad. Take care.

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