I’m wanting to move and start a new life elsewhere. It almost feels like I’ve been set free from a cage. I originally came to her state to care for her and it’s almost destroyed my health and sanity. Her needs and demands were more than I could handle! I couldn’t read a book or watch tv without her pouting, much less travel or get married! I’ve taken care of her every need for the last 4+ years and after a fall last month she moved to AL. I visit daily. She’s in her late 90’s and too frail to move across the country, but I’m wanting to start a new life of my choosing, outside this area.
I love her dearly but I’m wanting my independence back and some semblance of joy. I’m not happy in this town or state for that matter. I’m in my late forties and have dealt with my own major health issues. I guess I’m just wanting advice and maybe reassurance that it’s ok to move on? I’m the only one that visits as we live in a remote area and she has no other family nearby and the ones she has she’s pushed away over the years so no one cares to visit her. Am I wrong in leaving now?
4 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
I think you have done what you could. Its time for you. If that means moving out of state, then so be it.
If she was placed in an Assisted living, I see one little problem. They do not provide for personal needs like LTC does. I had to supply Moms Depends, her toilet paper, shampoo, etc. Money for hair cuts. Does this AL provide a service for this?
Or, are do you mean a Long term Care facility that will provide everything and being able to use her Personal Needs Account for things like haircuts.
Your grandmother is now where she should be because of her health not because of you. If she needed dental care, she would go to a dentist. If she needed a surgery, she would go to a surgeon. Now she needs more care than you can provide, she goes where she can get that care, and right now that's an AL facility.
Your job is to take care of your present and future. Work and save as much as you can for your retirement and old age. Growing old is expensive. Go live your life before time passes you by. It's not your fault that your grandmother pushed other family members away and now they are not visiting her. It is sad, but it's not your fault. It's the consequences of her action. You can visit her when you're in town or call her on the phone as often as you can.
Good luck to you. Make the best of the time you have.
In my heart I’ve done right by her and I honestly feel it’s time for me to focus on my future. It’s just such a hard transition. I appreciate your support more than you know!
ADVERTISEMENT