How do I tell my husband, who has dementia and is currently in a health facility, that he is going to be transferred to a memory care home.

Hate to say it, but it's dementia- even if you do somehow get the truth through to him, he isn't going to remember it.

My 98 yr old grandfather did this to us when we first moved him into a nursing home. "When can I go home?" was the most repeated thing out of his mouth. All I would tell him is that "we're looking into it" or "I'll ask the doctor". Eventually he stopped asking and settled in. He's comfortable at the facility now.

Ut oh. Why does he think he's going home?? Well, wait, we can't often explain why people with dementia think what they think. But that misconception does complicate things a little I guess.

Nonetheless, I would just give a simple response, blaming it on the doctor/facility/anyone but you. I would not explain the differences between where he is now and where he is going. No need to tell him that he's doing worse and needs to be more closely watched. Just a short answer like "The doctor says you need to move to this nice place where they can take better care of you. I think it's a great idea." Something like that?

If he wants to go home say something like "We'll see. Maybe we'll have to talk to the doctor about that."

Good luck. When's the big move?

I think I would say " Honey, the doctors think you need to be in a step down rehab for a couple of weeks more. Our insurance wont pay for this facility, but they've found one which is quite good and you are going there for a couple of weeks. At the end of that time, the docs will re-evaluate and we will all figure out what the next steps are."